Say Goodnight And Go
by notaguitar
Summary: Barnaby has unresolved feelings for Kotetsu that he intends to confess and be promptly shot down. However, things never seem to go as expected.  M-rated for later chapters - Barnaby/Kotetsu
1. Chapter 1: The Encounter

Barnaby couldn't explain exactly how he managed to get into this situation.

That was a lie, he knew the precise reason he was lurking at the newsstand across the street from a quaint cafe located in the heart of Sternbuild. He knew the reason, but he was having a very difficult time coming to terms with it. The streets bustled with citizens that Barnaby had spent his days protecting with the assistance of his goofy, older, clumsy partner, Kotetsu Kaburagi, who incidentally was the root of Barnaby's current problem.

Kotetsu was excactly the same man who Barnaby had happened to spot in the aforementioned cozy looking cafe before he (for reasons Barnaby wanted to pretend didn't exist) dashed toward the newspaper stand, clutching a _Sternbuild Times _paper firmly in front of his face.

He was hiding from Kotetsu. Definitely hiding.

Barnaby scowled behind the newspaper, his face forming into a frown that he knew Kotetsu would refer to as 'not cute at all'. The older man had always found ways to try to turn Barnaby's mood around; Barnaby hated to admit that Kotetsu's stupid techniques almost always worked perfectly. That was one of those things Barnaby thought about late at night when he was trying to think of anything but Kotetsu. Those and the hundred other sickeningly adorable habits the veteran hero seemed to have.

Reluctantly, Barnaby flicked down one edge of the paper, peering past it into the cafe where Kotetsu was still sitting, sipping on a mug of something. Coffee, perhaps. The weather was cooler than usual; it was finally starting to feel like December. People were adorned in their winter clothing, wool hats, mittens, heavy boots and winter jackets. Barnaby was no exception to the cold climate, and he too wore a classy and expensive winter jacket and bright red scarf.

_I should go say hello, it's only polite._ Barnaby thought to himself, but the mere idea tied his stomach into knots of nervousness. This wasn't the first time something like this had happened, and Barnaby was certain more unwelcome feelings would work their way out of the depths of his body. _I'm really an idiot._

Forcefully folding the paper back to its original state, Barnaby tossed it back onto the newsstand, smiling curtly at the man who glanced up at him over a magazine.

As he walked as confidently as he could muster at the moment, Barnaby felt his heart thundering in his chest harder than a jackhammer. At least getting his blood pumping was making the weather easier to bear. The young man huffed out a particularly aggravated breath as he strode along the busy sidewalk.

Not untypical of the norm, Barnaby heard people whisper whilst pointing to him. Generally it was things such as 'Is that Barnaby from Hero TV?' or 'Should we go ask for an autograph?' and things of the like, and usually Barnaby would stop to talk to these fans, happily obliged to their photo or autograph requests and move along. But not right now. Barnaby was on a mission of his own. A mission that wouldn't be broadcasted on Hero TV.

* * *

><p>The door of the cafe had a bell attached to it and jingled loudly as Barnaby pushed open the door. The clerk at the counter smiled warmly at Barnaby as the blonde walked up to the counter. The aroma was almost overwhelming. Pastries and coffee were the two most pungent smells in the café, but the scent of hot chocolate and a hint of what smelled like alcohol also were noticeable.<p>

"Just a coffee, for here, thanks," Barnaby said quietly, still trying to hide the fact he was in the cafe.

"No sugar, rum, or cream?" The server asked while pouring the freshly brewed coffee into a mug.

"No, fine as it is," Barnaby responded shortly. Rum. That explained the faint smell of alcohol Barnaby had noticed moments before. Barnaby handed the man a ten dollar bill, already aware the price was five dollars and forty five cents.

"Here you go, sir," the man responded, handing off Barnaby's mug. "And your change..."

"Keep it," Barnaby said, quickly turning on his heels and walking towards where Kotetsu was seated. As he walked off, Barnaby thought he heard the man say a small 'thank-you', but it sounded somewhat surprised and slightly ingenuine. _It's near Christmas, so aren't people generous with their tips this time of year anyway?_

_Unimportant, trifling nonsense. _Barnaby chastised himself internally. He occupied himself with a fictional script for the conversation that was about to erupt with Kotetsu.

While he walked, Barnaby took careful eye of Kotetsu, who looked as though he was reading a newspaper, but Barnaby was almost certain the older man was daydreaming. Another frequent and adorable habit he had. A nervous smile set itself on Barnaby's lips as he finally reached the table.

The sound of Barnaby's boots clacking against the earthy-coloured tiles of the cafe floor must have snapped Kotetsu out of the daydream him because his head lifted from the newspaper he was pretending to be reading.

"Ah, Bunny!" Kotetsu exclaimed as his face changed from neutral to pleased upon recognizing his partner. "I didn't expect to see you here!"

"The feeling is mutual," Barnaby replied calmly, but he felt his voice waver slightly and he hoped it was imperceptible. He pulled out the chair opposite to Kotetsu, and the table at which they were seated was a little small for the two of them. Barnaby set his legs to the side, avoiding the awkward contact of their knees colliding.

"So, what're you doin' out here?" Kotetsu asked, picking up his own mug of coffee and taking a large gulp. "Tryin' to make some more of your fans Christmas dreams come true, right?"

"Not exactly," Barnaby laughed a little, wondering if that was truly what Kotetsu thought he would do. It was a joke, though, of course, no reason to get upset or hurt. _Why am I being so sensitive? I'm ridiculous today._

"Gettin' me a Christmas present, then?" the brown haired man joked, lightly pushing Barnaby's arm and winking wryly. "I like expensive cars and giant mansions, just so ya know."

_That smile could melt hearts. _Barnaby swooned, unintentionally leaning forward against the table to get closer to Kotetsu's face.

"Oi, watch out, you'll fall outta your chair," Kotetsu warned in an almost fatherly way. "What, did you get rum in your coffee or somethin'?"

"What, no, of course not," Barnaby straightened his composure stiffly and narrowed his eyes at the older man. "You did though, didn't you?"

"Well," Kotetsu grinned cheekily, taking a sip of his drink and emphasizing a refreshing breath after it. "Sorta hard to resist it when they offer."

"Don't go getting drunk in a public cafe now, you've got no one who cares enough to drag you home," Barnaby cautioned, wagging a finger in Kotetsu's direction. He tossed Kotetsu a patented snide Barnaby smile.

"I have you to count on for that, don't I?" Kotetsu said, his voice carried a hint of hopefulness.

As a blush began to creep along his face and warm his cheeks, Barnaby reached across the table, snatching Kotetsu's mug from him. "We've got each other for it," Barnaby said, as he took a drink out of Kotetsu's mug.

_Why does he have to be so cute? _Barnaby thought idly, as he finished off the rest of Kotetsu's drink as the older man protested adamantly.

"You drank it all!" Kotetsu gaped, upon finally grabbing the mug from his young partner's clutches. "You know, you're payin' for my second one."

"Don't be ridiculous." Barnaby said, feigning innocence.

"But you're the one who drank my coffee."

"I'll make you coffee at my place, I actually have something to ask from you," Barnaby tried to sound serious, as though Kotetsu's refusal would not be an option.

"Your place? Right now?" Kotetsu seemed to look torn, and he remained seated despite Barnaby raising to his feet. "I still have some Christmas shopping to do …"

A strange pang of jealously struck Barnaby hard at that moment. And for a second, he was unsure of what to say or how to respond. Reacting quickly, as he had always trained himself to do when unpleasant emotions surfaced, Barnaby turned away from the older man.

"I see, well if you must," Barnaby responded quietly, beginning to walk away, headed for the door. "Contact me later, if you can."

"Whoa, wait, Bunny," Kotetsu urged, stumbling from his chair as he snatched his jacket off the back of it. He caught up to Barnaby as the blonde was pushing open the door.

They exited the café side-by-side, and Kotetsu struggled to pull on his winter coat as their pace quickened. "Can it wait, or is it important?"

_Important._ Barnaby smiled, despite his desire to show no emotion. _Confesstions like this are more trouble than they are worth. _Barnaby knew what he was thinking about Kotetsu was absurd and he also knew it wasn't important. Selfish definitely, but important, not exactly. Even though Barnaby wanted to say yes, he simply shook his head and uttered a quiet "No."

Kotetsu didn't seem to understand and he stared at the younger man.  
>"As in, no it can't wait, or no it's not important?"<p>

At that Barnaby stopped dead in his tracks, and Kotetsu matched. "Both."

Kotetsu frowned in confusion.

"Come to my place tonight around nine. Certainly that should give you enough time to finish your Christmas errands, shouldn't it?" Barnaby said, but there was finality in his voice that said: You will come to my house regardless.

"Yeah, I guess but-" Kotetsu began, still sounding dumbfounded.

"Perfect, I'll see you tonight then," and with that Barnaby pressed forward through the crowd, determined to become lost in the array of people. He heard Kotetsu protest in the distance, but refused to turn around. And for once, Barnaby was thankful for the overly populated streets of Sternbuild.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** This will most likely continue if I can stay interested in writing. I'm not a writer, so I'm certianly not very good, but I hope someone can enjoy this too :)


	2. Chapter 2: The Confession

Gathering the preparations for what Barnaby had planned for the night was more nerve-wracking than he had anticipated.

The first stop on his list was the liquor store. Kotetsu was a man who enjoyed drinking, and Barnaby too enjoyed partaking in the occasional glass of wine. Besides, the catalyst issued from a little bit of alcohol to loosen him up could possibly create a more comfortable environment for a confession of feelings. Reflexively, Barnaby shook his head, clearing his mind to refocus on what to buy for night ahead.

Barnaby meticulously examined the labels of various cases of beer, none of which he particularly remembered Kotetsu ever mentioning or consuming. After scanning the first few fridges, Barnaby stopped upon spotting one type of beer that had the logo of a tiger on it. The tiger appeared to be devouring the label of the beer, its eyes glowing a fierce yellow and its white teeth glimmering around the shredded scraps of the logo. It was entirely ridiculous, much like Kotetsu himself, and that put a smile on Barnaby's face.

Without needing much more convincing than that, Barnaby opened the door to the cooler and picked up the tiger box. He also randomly chose a different brand of beer, in case Kotetsu didn't enjoy the strange tiger alcohol. For himself, Barnaby chose a red wine, his favourite.

As he walked to the register, Barnaby caught view of a clock hanging above the cash register. 5:46PM. Barnaby had three hours to gather the rest of what he needed and go back to his place to clean it up a bit.

* * *

><p>By the time Barnaby had finished his shopping and had returned home, it was just passed 7:30.<p>

Barnaby often counted himself lucky that he was a minimalist when it came to furnishings, it made for efficient cleaning. Nothing more than the absolute essentials were required for him, mostly considering Barnaby spent 99% of his time in his apartment alone. There wasn't exactly a reason to have couches, chairs, or anything besides his single chair and table.

Still, the place did need a bit of sprucing up. Tending to the slightly dusted corners of the living room and even going as far as to remake his bed several times, Barnaby was determined to make his place look effortlessly clean, and hopefully comfortable.

After removing the food he'd purchased from the grocery bags, Barnaby took out the other items he had bought on a whim.

A sizable bottle of lubricant and a box of condoms. Touching the items and slowly wandering to his bedroom caused Barnaby to flare up in embarrassment, despite being alone.

Remembering himself earlier that day, purchasing such items with the intentions he had for them, it was somewhat shameful. Not as though he expected anything tonight, per se, or at all really. But wasn't it important to be prepared? Just in case.

_I'm being ridiculous again._ Barnaby thought, mindlessly dropping the box of condoms into his nightstand drawer.

To him it didn't appear that the likelihood of Kotetsu reciprocating his feelings was even remotely possible. A few simple, but important reasons solidified Barnaby's beliefs:  
>1. Kotetsu was married. Widowed, but still married. Married enough to wear the ring every day.<br>2. Kotetsu was straight, or at least only showed interest in females from what Barnaby had been able to tell.  
>3. Kotetsu valued his daughter's opinion of him more than anything, and perhaps wouldn't approve of such a risky relationship.<p>

Barnaby stopped mentally listing reasons when he realized what he was doing to himself. This was moronic. The entire evening was going to be complete and utter waste of time or severely damaging to their friendship. It was that moment when Barnaby realized the level of his selfishness. Exposing his feelings and throwing himself out there was entirely out of character, not to mention careless.

Barnaby heaved a weighted sigh, still entirely unsure of what he would say when Kotetsu arrived. Without much motivation to do anymore tidying or preparations for awhile, Barnaby reclined in the chair in his living room, angling his neck to let his head tilt towards the window.

_I'm such an idiot._

Before Barnaby had time to realize he'd nodded off, his front door was buzzing. The irritating sound instantly shook Barnaby from his impromptu nap. Stealing a quick glance at the clock, he noticed it was 8:36. Barnaby walked to the buzzer, pressing the intercom button. "Hello?"

"Bunny, I know I'm a little early but, I'm here," Kotetsu's voice crackled through the system, and Barnaby immediately took notice to the other man's odd enunciation. Drunken enunciation.

"Door's open," Barnaby responded calmly, hiding the utter confusion he felt.  
><em>Why is he drunk? <em>A strange sickly feeling began brewing in his stomach and Barnaby clenched his fist tightly in frustration.

At that moment, the door was pushed open and Kotetsu walked in, bundled up in his winter gear. "Hey!"

"Hello. You must have finished earlier than I anticipated," Barnaby said, cautiously moving to help Kotetsu remove his winter clothes. He took Kotetsu's jacket, setting it on the coatrack by the door.

"Thanks, and yeah, I was done shopping hours ago," Kotetsu nodded while wearing an enormous smile. "I was tryin' to tell you earlier that it wouldn't be long, but you ditched me in that crowd."

"Yes, clearly that was a mistake," Barnaby mumbled, trying to regain control of the situation. It was strange how the thoughts prior to his sudden nap had managed to entirely toss a wrench in Barnaby's confidence. Everything seemed to be going too fast already, and they'd barely spoken yet.

"Speakin' of that," Kotetsu pulled off his gloves and scarf, cramming them into the pocket of his jacket. "What made you leave in such a hurry anyway?"

"I had my own errands to run," Barnaby said nonchalantly, there was no point in explaining anything right now. "Are you thirsty?"

"Extremely."

The two walked to the kitchen, where Barnaby had set three cans of each beer into a large and slightly over extravagant bowl of ice. Barnaby reached for the wine, which he had placed on top of his fridge. "Will you need a glass?"

"Nope," Kotetsu responded, picking up the beer with the tiger logo. "Whoa, lookit this!" The older man reached out, his eyes still locked on the beer can, and brushed his hand against the small of Barnaby's back.

At the sensation, Barnaby lurched his body away, gasping in shock. He turned himself towards Kotetsu, anger plaguing his features. "What are you doing?"

"There's a tiger on here," Kotetsu pointed, pressing his finger to the can.

"Yes,... I'm aware of that..." Barnaby squinted his eyes at Kotetsu, examining the man's relaxed features and his slightly dazed eyes. "You wouldn't happen to have stopped at the bar before coming here?"

Kotetsu screwed up his expression for moment, as though he was perplexed by the question. But almost instantly his face changed, looking apologetic and guilty.

"You did." Barnaby was reassured by the defeated expression on Kotetsu's face. Despite his desire to remain calm, Barnaby felt himself becoming angry. It was careless to assume that Kotetsu wouldn't do something like this; after all, Barnaby was fully aware that when Kotetsu became stressed, more often than not he would handle it by indulging in alcohol. Resisting the urge to kick Kotetsu out, considering confessing feelings for someone when they are completely drunk is essentially pointless, Barnaby merely forced a small smile. _This could be fine._

"Well, you got me all nervous," Kotetsu explained, still clutching the beer can in his hand. "You said you had somethin' important to tell me..."

"I did say that, didn't I?" Barnaby hummed, corking the bottle of wine he had. Willing himself to keep his hands steady, Barnaby removed a wine glass from the cupboard, setting it down in front of him as he poured the wine. "Well, I suppose I'll have to catch up with you before I can really say anything else."

* * *

><p>Four glasses of wine later, when Barnaby found himself to be sufficiently intoxicated, he and Kotetsu had promptly run out of conversation.<p>

An awkward distance had be forced between them since the moment Barnaby expressed the desire, much earlier that day, that he needed to tell Kotetsu something. Even though they had been drinking, and casually talking about anything besides the elephant in the room, their conversation ran dry.

Barnaby was worried about this, because he knew when it got too hard to handle, he would come out with it. And in this intoxicated state, he feared that his confession would be less than eloquent, and perhaps have the capability to alter or ruin any friendship that could still remain.

"So, are you caught up, yet?" Kotetsu inquired, as though he was reading Barnaby's mind. However, the tension was palpable, it was impossible to ignore the invisible barrier separating them. "'Cos you still haven't told me anything yet."

Barnaby was leaning against the large window, gazing out at the Sternbuild cityscape. The serenity he was conveying was forced, inside his feelings were bubbling over. Barnaby regretted being so bold earlier, this situation is exactly what he had intended to avoid.

_I'm not ready yet, this is a complete disaster._

"It's snowing," Barnaby dodged the question as his voice noticeably quivered. However, it was true; the first snow of the year was just starting. It wasn't heavy in the slightest, but against the bright orange-y yellow streetlamps beaming in the streets below, it looked beautiful. Some late night shoppers were hustling along the walkways, some walking leisurely, other swiftly navigating in and out of stores seemingly rushed. The roads were illuminated by hundreds of bright neon lights glimmering from store windows, creating an enormous array of colour and sparkle against the lightly falling snow.

The leather seat squeaked as Kotetsu rose and walked to the window beside his partner. In his hand he held one of the tiger beer cans, nearly empty. "Looks nice," he added, but his eyes weren't focused on the view outside the window. Kotetsu took a drink from the can, eyeing Barnaby's face for any tell of what the young man was thinking.

"With the moon that full, it makes everything look kind of magical," Barnaby spoke whimsically, watching the individual flakes flutter carelessly towards the city below. December, and snow in general, had a way of taking Barnaby to another time in his life. It always reminded him of his parents, which was difficult.

He missed them. Barnaby was certain he always would, and he knew that the strange loneliness he never failed to notice this time of year would never fully go away. In an odd way, he was happy for that. Barnaby didn't want to let his parents become another forgotten or tangled part of his past, he was glad he still remembered their faces, and some of the joy he had shared with them.

When Barnaby felt the single, hot tear roll down his cheek, he desperately tried to hide it by snapping his head in the other direction and swiftly bringing up his hand to wipe it away. However, his efforts were pointless, as Kotetsu's gaze had been fixated on Barnaby's face rather than the snowy world outside.

"Hey," Kotetsu started, extending his hand, placing it in the center of Barnaby's back. "You alright?"

"Yes, of course," Barnaby responded sternly, still facing away from Kotetsu. Barnaby shied from the hand the older man had placed on his back. "I'm fine."

"You don't havta be so guarded around me, yanno," Kotetsu said, trying to convey comfort, but he was more drunk than he thought; his genuine feelings couldn't be properly expressed. "We trust each other by now, right?"

Barnaby pivoted to face Kotetsu, staring blankly into his eyes. This was a golden opportunity, and Barnaby knew it, but if only they weren't drunk. For an idle second, Barnaby wondered whether it mattered. Perhaps it would be easier to explain when drunk, and if things went over badly Barnaby could claim he was intoxicated. That seemed logical, but it was the wrong way to do it. It was lame, and nowhere near as romantic that Barnaby thought Kotetsu deserved.

Due to the lack of response from Barnaby, Kotetsu pressed on: "Or you don't trust me yet?" Kotetsu's face looked entirely defeated by the thought. His eyes reminded Barnaby of the tiger on the beer can, so bright and piercing leaving Barnaby feeling utterly exposed; he gulped nervously before gathering himself.

"Don't say something like that," Barnaby insisted instantly. He firmly grabbed Kotetsu by the shoulders, despite his desire to not have contact with Kotetsu physically. Barnaby hoped his face was as serious as he felt, but he knew by this time the wine would have pinkened his cheeks and reddened his nose. "I trust you wholly and completely."

"If that's true, then why aren't you tellin' me what's bothering you?" Kotetsu must have been waiting for such an opportunity to pose this question.

Barnaby gritted his teeth together, wondering if Kotetsu had just entrapped him mentally in order to expose the big 'secret' of why both men were at Barnaby's place together. The older man's eyes continued to dig into Barnaby, cutting down his defenses and rendering him weak and mentally feeble.

Drowning out all the emotions he was feeling, and suffocating the voices in his head telling him not to say anything, Barnaby spoke:  
>"I have feelings for you."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Whoops updated already. Whoops cliffhanger. I hope this wasn't too boring, I could have uploaded it with the other "chapter" but it seemed too long that way. Anyway, obviously the next chapter gets spiced up, so hopefully you'll stick around for it. Thank-you :)


	3. Chapter 3: The Foreplay

**A/N:** I just want to warn everyone** that this chapter is rated NC-17**. I mean it, I kicked it up a notch here, and you guys are going to judge me for it. In fact, I'd judge YOU if you didn't judge me for it. haha  
>Anyway, there's sexual acts committed here and they are perverted and filthy and I don't want you sweet little babies to have your minds corrupted by your creepy, evil Uncle Notaguitar. Now, eat your dinner and straight to bed!<p>

But for all you brave and age appropriate readers who are just as perverted as I am, please look beyond my choppy writing and enjoy the porn!

Ah yes, and thanks to those of you who left reviews on the last chapters, it honestly inspired me to write more.

And assuming I don't scare you away, see ya next chapter.

* * *

><p>The two men stood staring at each other for what Barnaby felt was a century. The silence that hung between them was heavy, bringing the world inside the apartment in on them, as though everything was growing twice it's original size. Barnaby then become aware of the mounting pressure in his chest, building more with every breathe he managed to receive. The weight in his chest made his whole body become weak, his knees began to buckle. Barnaby eyed his chair while letting out a distressed exhale. He removed his glasses, setting them on the table beside the chair, where he moved to sit. "I regret even inviting you here."<p>

The alcohol was pumping strong in his system; Barnaby could feel a thick cloudiness in his head. To avoid awkward eye-contact, Barnaby buried his face in his hands. The dizziness he experienced when he closed his eyes wasn't doing much to alleviate the anxiety he was feeling. Barnaby swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump in his throat, trying to breathe normally. Unwanted tears dripped from his eyes and formed a warm puddle within his palms; the mere thought of looking Kotetsu in the eyes was unbearable. A part of Barnaby truly wished the older man would leave without speaking a word. If he did, maybe they'd forget this whole night? Write it off as drunken ramblings.

"I don't know what to say," Kotetsu finally responded, his voice quiet and gentle. Slowly he walked to the chair, kneeling on the floor in front of Barnaby. Gently, he raised one hand to brush Barnaby's wrist, coaxing the young man to show Kotetsu his face. "Bunny, it's okay."

When Barnaby raised his head, he greeted Kotetsu with dewy-eyes and a rigid frown. Barnaby could feel more tears burning hotly in his eyes from the tension. Or was it the embarrassment? Whatever it was, Barnaby was blinking the tears back furiously, hoping he didn't look as pitiful as he felt.

Truth be told, Barnaby didn't know what to say either. Kotetsu hadn't rejected him, and he wasn't sure what was going to happen.

Timidly, Kotetsu raised one hand, setting it against Barnaby's partially tear dampened cheek. Almost instantly, the younger man nuzzled into Kotetsu's rough hand, absorbing all the warmth and delicateness of his touch. Finally smiling again, both men leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together in a friendly gesture.

"You don't have to stay," Barnaby conceded, his defeated smile still present on his lips. Barnaby tenderly placed his hand on top of Kotetsu's, holding the warm palm against his face for a final moment. He attempted to burn the comforting sensation of the older man's touch in his brain; tattoo it into his mind as to never forget just how perfect it felt there. Barnaby closed his eyes, allowing a single tear to slip down his face. "I'll be okay if you go."

The unexpected sensation of Kotetsu's lips brushing against his own forced Barnaby's eyes to burst open in shock. As their lips remained together for a few seconds, Barnaby couldn't comprehend the situation. Kotetsu's eyes were closed; a look of deep concentration present older man's face was notable by his slightly furrowed eyebrows. Before the kiss could end, Barnaby made sure to lean into it, indulging in the safety he felt with Kotetsu so close to him. Everything felt phenomenal.

As the kiss came to an end, Kotetsu opened his eyes. The brunette pulled himself away a little, a strange, lost look shrouded Kotetsu's features, like he was unsure of what he'd just done. He looked up at Barnaby with questioning eyes. Neither man spoke.

Now clutching the hand resting on his face, Barnaby leaned forward, initiating a deeper kiss between the two of them.

When Kotetsu didn't protest, Barnaby felt new wave of emotions embody him.

The kiss Barnaby had been on a fervent journey for had finally started, albeit the kiss was drunken and perhaps more sloppy than it had been Barnaby's fantasies, but a kiss is a kiss. Warm feelings ignited in Barnaby's chest. With every heartbeat, the stress, panic, along with every other feeling of apprehension Barnaby had experienced was burned away by his immense elation.

It didn't feel real; it felt like another one of Barnaby's frequent dreams that teased him during his sleep. The countless dreams that Barnaby couldn't forget, that ranged from anywhere to tame first kisses all the way to aggressive making-out that had been vivid enough to fuel a number of Barnaby's waking sexual fantasies. The need to validate that this was indeed reality suddenly overcame him. Barnaby reached his hand out, resting it against Kotetsu's chest, pausing for a moment until he felt the older man's heartbeat drumming erratically beneath his palm. All the warmth, sounds, touches and feelings assured Barnaby that it was true. He could enjoy this.

The two men weren't overtly aggressive with their kissing. It was more like testing the waters to see just how comfortable they could be.

Careful to avoid breaking the kiss, Barnaby guided Kotetsu to rise up and crawl onto his lap. It was surprisingly comfortable with the two of them in his chair and Barnaby was more than pleased with Kotetsu's weight on him. Kotetsu's hand slid down Barnaby's cheek to his neck, resting there for a moment before Kotetsu looped his forearm around the back of Barnaby's shoulders, roughly forcing the two closer together. Wanting to press his tongue into Kotetsu's mouth to really experience him was hard to resist, but Barnaby knew his patience would benefit him later. After all, it had gotten him this far. Kotetsu released a low moan as the tightness of his arm behind Barnaby's neck loosened.

"Bunny," Kotetsu said the moment their lips parted. His breath tickled Barnaby's skin in a beer-scented warmth. "Should we really be doin' this?"

"Of course," Barnaby reassured him, reaching his hand up to tuck a lock of Kotetsu's thick hair back behind his ear. The painless scratch of Kotetsu's beard against his skin tingled in a way that made Barnaby's stomach flip.

"But, I'm drunk," Kotetsu's face was troubled and forlorn. He poked his finger at Barnaby's chest to emphasize as he spoke: "We're _both_ drunk."

If Kotetsu was having second thoughts about them, Barnaby was not about to be a saint and help the man think it through. Perhaps it was selfish, but the weight of Kotetsu on his lap, having Kotetsu so close to being his own (if only for the night) made it far too difficult to have morals. "Yes, we certainly are drunk," Barnaby agreed.

"You don't get it," Kotetsu whined, balling his fists in Barnaby's t-shirt. His eyes were fixed on Barnaby's lips.

"Then explain it to me," Barnaby wasn't in the mood to play games, but drunk Kotetsu seemed to enjoy beating around the bush. Wary to where Kotetsu was staring, Barnaby flicked out his tongue, delicately slipping it along his lower lip; Kotetsu's eyes followed the young man's pink tongue the entire length. Barnaby smirked.

Blinking hard, Kotetsu looked indignant but remained focused on Barnaby lips. "I don't want to be drunk the first time we have sex," Kotetsu said in such a way that it could only be described as pouting. With determined force, he then began slowly rocking his hips against Barnaby's.

"Sex?" Barnaby parroted, pulling back to get a better look into Kotetsu's eyes. "Who said anything about us having sex?" Sudden images of the condoms in his nightstand, the lube, and a naked vision of Kotetsu sent Barnaby's head spinning.

Kotetsu's hips continued to vigorously pulsate against Barnaby's as he met the younger man's gaze. He smiled somewhat chastely considering their circumstances. With the arm he still had loosely linked across Barnaby's neck, he pulled the blonde close to him to whisper. "I think about you a lot, yanno."

Barnaby gulped, the thick cloudiness in head returning in full force. Sex.

Were they really going to have sex tonight?

Barnaby wanted to, and god knows he had thought about it more times than he could remember, but was Kotetsu serious? Just thinking of the two of them together, sweating, breathing hard, hands, tongues, kissing, it was enough to make Barnaby semi-hard, and with the accompanying sensation of Kotetsu's hips rubbing against his own, Barnaby was well on his way to an erection.

"You make me happier than I've been in a long time," Kotetsu said, and his voice sounded oddly sober. Barnaby assumed it was due to the great focus Kotetsu was putting into his words. Was this some kind of foreplay?

Barnaby didn't know what was happening, it was basically a miracle. He had the man who had be secretly fawning over for months on his lap, grinding himself along Barnaby's body in an animalistic way, wanting sex, all while expressing how important Barnaby was to him. It was like a dream that wouldn't stop getting better.

Barnaby placed his hand on the small of Kotetsu's back, pushing down and forcing more friction as Kotetsu continued grinding against him.

"When I'm lonely," Kotetsu's breath hitched for a moment before he continued. "I think about you."

Upon realizing it had been a very long time since he spoke, Barnaby somehow dragged his attention from the feeling of Kotetsu's erection against his thigh to speak: "Is that so?"

As cute as Barnaby found Kotetsu's drunken confessions, the idea of sex had been planted in Barnaby's mind, making it very difficult to think of anything else.

"Do you think about me?" Kotetsu asked, he too was somewhat occupied by Barnaby's tented pants.

More foreplay. Wasn't it usually women who were into foreplay? Although, Barnaby could have guessed that Kotetsu would enjoy something like that, after all it was a type of playing. Barnaby, who was a man not known for being especially playful, had much stronger of a desire to have Kotetsu undress than to swap mushy love confessions (he knew those types of stories would be far more enjoyable when they were both sober anyways), Barnaby got to the point.

"I think about you when I'm alone in bed," he smirked, it was true. "Or when I'm in the shower."

Kotetsu released an angry grunt and automatically sat back on Barnaby's lap, his hot breath no longer gracing the blonde's neck. His expression yielded no forgiveness for Barnaby's perverted remarks.  
>"That's real romantic, Bunny. You think about me while givin' yourself quickies in the shower," Kotetsu looked unstable, slanting slightly in Barnaby's lap, but the look of displeasure fixed onto his features was impossible to misinterpret. As best as he could, what with being highly intoxicated, Kotetsu stared Barnaby down, silently demanding a better answer.<p>

"I also think about you when I need a reason to wake up in the morning," Barnaby recovered, placing his hands on Kotetsu's hips, keeping the other man steady. He couldn't stop his eyes from lingering on the obvious bulge in Kotetsu's pants. "And when I remember why I'm still protecting people." Barnaby raised his eyes to meet Kotetsu's. Carefully he removed one hand from Kotetsu's hip, pulling gently on Kotetsu's tie to remove it. The same hand then began plucking the buttons of the older man's shirt, steadily revealing more of his chest.

Barnaby thought it was particularly adorable how emotional drunk-Kotetsu was as the older man's face scrunched up immediately with emotion, clearly touched by Barnaby's words. He raised one arm to his face, wiping his eyes before the tears could even fall. "That's more like it." Kotetsu smiled, shrugging his shirt off. It fell to the floor as a green mass, leaving Kotetsu's chest fully exposed. "Good to know I'm not just eye candy," he added and laughed, craning his neck down to kiss Barnaby.

Growing both impatient and desperate to see more of Kotetsu, Barnaby pressed his tongue against Kotetsu's teeth demanding entrance to kiss him more deeply. At first Barnaby was concerned that his drunken confidence had been too much, because Kotetsu resisted for a moment, but when the older man gradually relented, Barnaby wasted no time before slipping his tongue over Kotetsu's lips and into the warmth of his mouth.

It was like uncharted territory, new and exciting, filled with the strong lingering taste of alcohol. Barnaby ran his tongue along the back of Kotetsu's teeth, and up along the roof of Kotetsu's mouth, exploring every inch there was to find. When the kiss became more clumsy, with each man's tongue fumbling over the others, Barnaby opened his mouth wider to make room for the slick, saliva lubricated tongues to effortlessly slide against eachother. Kotetsu whimpered out a moan as his hips began to softly thrust against Barnaby's. Careful to not bite hard, Barnaby nibbled Kotetsu's bottom lip, receiving another louder moan from deep in Kotetsu's throat in return. Hungry for more contact, Barnaby slammed their lips back together.

He was unsure how long they kissed, it was too incredible to dwell on the passing seconds. Barnaby only cared about the moments as they happened; tasting and learning the ins and outs of Kotetsu's mouth and tongue. By the time Barnaby realized how breathless he was, he found himself actively trying to lick saliva from all corners of Kotetsu's mouth. Reluctantly, Barnaby separated their lips.

"You're so hard," Kotetsu said, eyes clouded with drunken haze, he was panting heavily. He pressed his fingers against Barnaby's pants, stroking his hand against the bulge there.

"So are you," Barnaby countered, while watching Kotetsu's tan fingers dance over his pants. Barnaby began unbuckling his own belt, very grateful that he didn't fumble. In the same motion, he miraculously managed to snap open the button on his pants as well. Barnaby knew Kotetsu was drunk, malleable, likely to listen and do as he was told; Barnaby wasn't about to spoil that. "Get on your knees."

The older man laughed and pressed a small kiss to the corner of Barnaby's mouth.  
>"Mister Bossy-Bunny," he chuckled, but still obeyed Barnaby's command. Kotetsu edged off of Barnaby's lap, collapsing on the floor with a lot less grace than he intended. Another laugh erupted from him as he crawled forward to sit between Barnaby's legs.<p>

While Kotetsu had been giggling along the floor, Barnaby had been busy mentally preparing himself for another one of his long desired fantasies to come true. He wanted it to be perfect, but he was impatient, excessively curious to know how Kotetsu would handle this situation. Biting his own lower lip, Barnaby tugged the zipper down smoothely, and the tightness in his pants was eased. With an anxious exhale, Barnaby reached inside his boxers, pulling out his erection.

Kotetsu had been resting his face against one of Barnaby's thighs as he waited. His eyes were immediately drawn to the younger man's cock, jumpstarting Kotetsu's excitement. His eyes seemed golden in the light, and they were engrossed with Barnaby's newly revealed appendage. There was visible apprehension on Kotetsu's face while he gingerly pressed his fingers to the base of Barnaby's cock. A nervous smile settled on the older man's face as he gazed up at Barnaby, seemingly looking for direction.

"Use your mouth," Barnaby ordered, unabashed. By now, he was fully motivated by his drunken confidence. Being so commanding made him feel more like his normal, sober self. Besides, having Kotetsu willing to submit was exquisite and highly accurate to what Barnaby had imagined the situation to be like. He was hungry for more, more of Kotetsu's touches, sensations, lips, teeth, tongue. Everything. Barnaby released a breath he had been holding in.

Kotetsu smiled again, looking less fraught with nerves. Raising his hand to grip Barnaby's dick, he loosely pumped his hand up and down, raising himself higher on his knees to take in the head of Barnaby's reddening cock.

"Fuck," Barnaby sharply inhaled at the feeling of Kotetsu's mouth slowly taking him in. Warm and wet and far better than Barnaby had ever imagined it would feel. The added pleasure of Kotetsu humming as he bobbed his head along Barnaby's throbbing erection magnified the sensations coursing through him. Barnaby combed his fingers through Kotetsu's hair, stopping at the nape of the older man's neck to grip some of the strands there. Barnaby couldn't help his hips from gradually beginning to rise and fall.

Kotetsu spoke, but his words were muffled due to his mouth being full. The deeper Kotetsu had him in his mouth, the more amazing Barnaby felt. Nearly painful tautness in his lower abdomen was rising at an alarmingly fast pace, and Barnaby wasn't certain how much he would be able to endure. Minding his body, specifically holding back the urge to thrust himself hard into Kotetsu's throat, Barnaby groaned as he tugged the clump of brown hair clutched in his hand.

As Barnaby pulled, soft but insistent, on Kotetsu's hair, the older man's mouth dragged up his cock. Kotetsu's mouth popped off with a slippery sound. Saliva mixed with pre-cum pooled between Kotetsu's swollen red lips, he brought his hand up to wipe his mouth. The older man's chest heaved; his eyes were half-lidded and still solely enthralled by Barnaby's spit lubricated erection.

Barnaby wished he could take a picture or somehow mentally catalogue this moment forever. Everything was perfect. Never had he been as aroused as he was feeling. Being drunk helped by converting any inkling of Barnaby's shyness into boldness.  
>"I'm going to come if you keep doing this," Barnaby admitted, directing Kotetsu by his hair, pulling the brunette man's mouth against back to his cock.<p>

Not stalling to speak, Kotetsu continued the blowjob, vigorously lapping his tongue over the head, sucking up droplets of pre-cum, and pumping Barnaby's shaft with his hand. Despite his best efforts, Kotetsu knew he was being sloppy, moving too much, not keeping in time with Barnaby's mild but excited thrusts, but Kotetsu couldn't contain himself; he was eager to please Barnaby, living for the expressions on the younger man's face. Hindered by his level of intoxication, coupled with his nervoussness, Kotetsu was unable to stop himself from whimpering against Barnaby's skin. Kotetsu's grip wasn't nearly tight enough, he was having trouble remembering to move his hands, keep his fingers tight, stay in time with Barnaby's unhurried thrusting, all while maintaining interesting and stimulating patterns of his tongue. Another distressed whimper sounded from his throat, again garbled by Barnaby's dick.

But whether Kotetsu was ready or not, Barnaby wasn't able to hold back. "K-Kotetsu," Barnaby choked through gritted teeth, holding Kotetsu's head against him. "I'm going t—!"

Releasing inside Kotetsu's mouth was beyond satisfying. The tension in Barnaby's lower abdomen and thighs was relieving slowly, spreading throughout his muscles down to his feet. Barnaby was hot, his face flushed, his ears burning, the blood in his veins feeling as though it was boiling over, and the added heat of Kotetsu's mouth tight around him was becoming too much to take.

Kotetsu slammed his knuckles from the base of Barnaby's cock up to his mouth as he swallowed, trying to not drip any come. He gulped down the bitter liquid quickly, opening his mouth to gasp for breath. Some remnants he had neglected to swallow spilled from the corner of his mouth, mixing with saliva to seep over Kotetsu's lip and roll down his chin. His breathing was labored.

"You… Kotetsu, that was," Barnaby tucked his hand under the older man's chin, tilting his face upwards to meet eyes. "You're incredible."

The expression on Kotetsu's face was something like shy pride; he smiled as he caught his breath.

"Can we keep going further?" Barnaby asked, stroking his thumb along Kotetsu's chin to clean the small mess there.

Adjusting his sitting position, still breathing a little heavily, Kotetsu reached into his back pocket, removing his wallet. He flipped it open with one hand, scanning all the spaces until he plucked out a square foil wrapper.

"Ready when you are," He tossed the condom at Barnaby's chest, where it collided with his necklace before falling into the blonde's lap. "Little Bunny."

Picking up the condom and beginning to tear the wrapper Barnaby spoke: "Let's go, old man."


	4. Chapter 4: The Sex

**A/N**: Hello~ I'm terribly sorry for the wait, but a big THANK-YOU for reviewing if you did. I appreciate it, I love getting them, they fuel my inspiration a lot!

**This chapter is NC-17** again, ok? Forgive my errors and poor writing.  
>I hope to see ya next chapter!<p>

* * *

><p>"I can't believe you carry condoms in your wallet, you dirty old pervert," Barnaby taunted as he tore open the wrapper, clumsily removing the condom.<p>

"Just one condom," Kotetsu defended, trying to open his belt. The metal clasp clanked loudly, continuously jostled together by Kotetsu's drunken incapable hands. "D'you really think I'm old?"

"Yes," Barnaby continued to tease, carefully sliding the condom over his erection. His fingers were slick from the lubricant coating; he idly slipped his fingertips along each other. When he raised his eyes to Kotetsu, he snorted out a small laugh. "You can't even take your own pants off."

"S'the stupid…" the brunette's face screwed up as he stared at the belt, still fully latched. "The metal teeth."

Reclining in the chair to watch, Barnaby couldn't help but playfully roll his eyes. "By the time you get that undone I'm not going to be hard anymore."

"Shuddup," the older man snapped back, but there was an obvious increase in how fervently Kotetsu's hands worked to undo his belt.

After a few more tries, the belt popped open. And in a quick snap, Kotetsu ripped it free from the belt loops, tossing it aside with a triumphant grin painted across his face. Hooking his thumbs into the top of his pants, he pushed them down to the floor, tumbling forward as he did so.

Just barely catching his balance, Kotetsu managed to get back on his feet to take two wobbly steps toward his younger partner. Tilting his head slightly, looking into Barnaby's eyes with a hint of indignity, Kotetsu pointed between Barnaby's legs.

"Still hard, and my belt's off," he bragged, smiling with one side of his mouth.

Raising his eyebrows, Barnaby grabbed Kotetsu's wrist, dragging the older man on top of him.  
>"Shall we celebrate?"<p>

The two jostled on the seat until Kotetsu's knees were on either side of Barnaby's hips, hands resting on the blonde's strong, muscular shoulders. Kotetsu still wore his goofy confident smile when he leaned down. Pressing soft kisses against Barnaby's lips, Kotetsu continued grinning. Eyes closed, hands running affectionately through waves of blonde hair, he released a contented hum of pleasure.

They were so close, too close for Barnaby to play anymore. He needed this to progress, needed it more than he felt like he needed to breathe. "Come on," he said, gently grazing both of his hands up the backside of Kotetsu's thighs, splaying his fingers over the defined muscles. Huffing out a nervous breath, Kotetsu raised himself to hover over Barnaby's hips.

All while trying to keep this experience pleasurable and attempt to maintain some form of precision, Barnaby eased his index finger into Kotetsu. Still slick from the lubricant from the condom, it easily slid in, not taking long to become knuckle-deep inside. A few finger-bends, flexes, and twirls later it was apparent that the older man was enjoying the novel sensations.

"Bunny…" the name was a hot whisper against Barnaby's ear. Kotetsu's body quivered, his knees spread further on the chair. "Bunny, it's..." Insistent, desperate. Roughly, Kotetsu dropped his forehead into Barnaby's shoulder, fingers knotting into the blonde curls he hadn't released.

The second finger wasn't as easy as the first, which was what Barnaby expected. The immediate tightness created difficultly in spreading his fingers, but that was due to Kotetsu's body reacting involuntarily to the new touches against highly sensitive places.

Things were going well, much better than he'd anticipated (somewhere in the back of his mind, Barnaby was worried Kotetsu would have chickened out after the first touch). Through the thin layer of his t-shirt, Barnaby could feel Kotetsu's fiery laboured breaths searing his skin; errant thoughts of having Kotetsu's blazing mouth on him, all over him, contaminated Barnaby's thoughts like a disease. Pressing deeper, Barnaby kept his attention on the brunette's body language for queues, unable to see his face.

"Ahn…Bu-damn," voice oozing with pleasure as the words tumbled from his lips. Kotetsu lowered himself on Barnaby's fingers, forcing them in. Erratic, but with unrestrained enthusiam, Kotetsu found a rhythm to raise and lower himself along Barnaby's fingers.

"You like it?" Barnaby asked, wishing he could see Kotetsu's face. He wanted to watch the older man crumble at his every touch.

Kotetsu's hands reached out, gripping the fabric of Barnaby's shirt; twisting it in his grip. "It's,… not enough."

"What do you want?" Barnaby asked softly, artfully turning his fingers inside.

Kotetsu pulled back, brown hair falling limply over his enormously round eyes. His face looked entirely different, deprived, sensual, full of wanting. "You." The word was weighted, serious.

Without skipping a beat, Barnaby retracted his fingers from Kotetsu. Grabbing his cock, Barnaby edged his hips down the chair, dragging himself along the brunette's body deliberately. With focused eyes, he watched Kotetsu.

"Do it," Kotetsu begged, unashamed of his quivering voice.

Surprised by his own intoxicated precision, Barnaby moved Kotetsu forward and then down, the head of his dick slipping inside of the older man in a single movement.

Kotetsu grunted at the initial moment of contact, his hands clenched on Barnaby's shoulders. Not waiting for the blonde to take control, Kotetsu eased himself down, taking in half of Barnaby before he stopped. His mouth was shut tight, as were his eyes. Breathing hard, pacing himself. Wanting, but unconfident.

At the pulsing sensations inside the older man, Barnaby was unable to stop himself from bucking his hips upward, thrusting more of himself into Kotetsu.

"Ah, god!" Kotetsu exclaimed as he fell forward, his chest colliding hard against Barnaby's. He hung his head over Barnaby's shoulder. "F-fuck…"

"Sorry," Barnaby apologized hollowly, almost business-like. This was only due to the fact that wasn't feeling particularly remorseful for the steady clench of Kotetsu's muscles around him; tight white hot heat that was impossibly satisfying. He pressed down on Kotetsu's thighs with both hands, until he was fully inside.

With a pained wince, Kotetsu fumbled his grip on Barnaby's shoulder blades. Hoping to relocate more desirable sensations, the brunette began to warily roll his hips. Grimacing, he continued tweaking his body, attempting to hit the spots Barnaby had found earlier with his fingers.

Easing his hands up the tensed muscles of Kotetsu's thighs, Barnaby planted his fingers into the older man's jutting hipbones. He pulled himself out of Kotetsu an inch, roughly thrusting back in again a moment later, then out two inches, another powerful thrust in, out three inches, until…

There was a short gasp and then the words tumbled out messily: "Th-there, Bunny, please," the plea burst from Kotetsu in an ached, throaty moan. "Fuck me right there."

The unintentionally seductive tone he used was enough to force Barnaby to temporarily cast his selfishness aside, opting to aggressively slam into Kotetsu, obeying his partner's request. Obtaining the right amount of leverage was difficult in a chair, and further hindered by the fact he was still entirely clothed, Barnaby wasn't going as hard as he intended. Skin on skin would have been better, sweat mixing with sweat, lubricating their bodies, allowing Barnaby to ram deep and hard into Kotetsu. Hard enough that Kotetsu wouldn't be able to stand straight the next day.

Kotetsu growled, pressing his chin against his chest. He tried kept quiet as Barnaby forcibly pounded into him, harder and faster, hitting his prostate at the exact angle that made an array of blinding bright colours flash like a strobelight behind Kotetsu's tightly clenched eyes. But it became impossible to maintain silence, the pleasure jolting through his body like an electric shock, sparking from his tailbone, thundering through his veins to hit him everywhere at once in a storm of ecstasy.

"Nngh, Bunny!" The name came out in a breathless cry as Kotetsu dug his nails into Barnaby's back. "B-Bunny, more. Harder."

Barnaby lunged forward, pouncing from the chair, pushing both of them off the cushioned surface and down onto the hardwood floor. Barnaby, now on top of Kotetsu, hooked his arms behind the older man's knees, shoving his legs up and back, the inner creases of his elbows holding Kotetsu's legs in place. Dazed, the brunette haired man looked up at Barnaby, eyes unfocused. The angle was perfect; perfect for the amount of force Barnaby had originally intended, the amount of force Kotetsu was begging for. Still partially inside, despite the drastic change of position, Barnaby plunged back into Kotetsu's depths with improved vigor.

More erratic cries escaped Kotetsu, his sweaty body writhed against the ground with every thrust slammed into him. His hands landed on the back of Barnaby's head, one staying there to tug at the blonde strands of hair, while the other traveled downward, clenching Barnaby's ass, pushing it to get more the young man inside of him.

Surprised by the sudden aggression, Barnaby spoke: "You dirty old pervert," he jeered, flashing a wicked smile. He spoke through gritted teeth as he worked his full length inside: "Say my name. Loud."

"Bunny." The response was instant, loud.

Barnaby clicked his tongue in disappointment, shaking his head and keeping his hips still. "You know that's not my name, old man. Say it. Beg for me."

Always up for a challenge, even in compromising circumstances, Kotetsu's mouth curled into an automatic grin. His eyes changed, eyelids fluttered as he turned his head slightly. "_Bunny._" He repeated pointedly, moving his own body against Barnaby's dick.

Leaning down to impose a kiss on the older man, Barnaby started up again. His tongue swirled feverishly in Kotetsu's mouth, slick and wet with their shared saliva. Legs spread high, skin tinted brightly with blush, precum steadily dripping from his reddened erection, Barnaby wouldn't allow his own stubbornness ruin the perfection that laid wantonly beneath him. Even then, his cock was pulsing inside of Kotetsu, burning hot heat swelling, ready to release. He pulled their mouths apart, watching a swift bead of spit spill from Kotetsu's parted lips. Smirking, Barnaby took a moment to examine his partner's trembling body, silently vowing: _Next time we fuck, you'll be screaming my name_,_ old man_.

"I'm gonna come," Kotetsu's voice choked through Barnaby's thoughts. "G-god, Bunny, I'm gonna come…" The usual keen roundness of his eyes was undetectable, replaced by a thin, dizzy gaze, head swimming in alcohol and sensual delight.

Barnaby set his hand on Kotetsu's erection, warm and damp from droplets of come that began sliding out of the slit. Thrusting less urgently now, Barnaby jerked Kotetsu off in rhythm.

"Kotetsu, let's…together," his voice wavered, already on the edge of coming. He hurried up the length of the older man's cock, rubbing his thumb along the head and forcing his hips in for a final thrust.

Their bodies shuddered in unison as Barnaby collapsed forward, letting out a long groan when he came. Muscles tensing and untensing, throbbing in stiffess. The warmth of Kotetsu's come spilled on Barnaby's hand, moist and sticky as he continually pumped through it. The room spun, clunking from side to side, like it were a ship, rather than a stable grounded room. The entire place had smelled of alcohol before, but a fresh concoction of come, sweat, and sex was mixing with the air, clinging in their lungs.

They breathed heavily, neither speaking when Barnaby at long last pulled out. Lazily tearing the condom off his softened cock, tying the top and dropping it carelessly on the floor. Edging to lay next to Kotetsu, Barnaby released a contented sigh.

It had happened. Finally. People could deny it, but they couldn't prove it wrong. Barnaby didn't have to tell himself it was a pointless fantasty; a dream to never be realized. It had happened. It was fact. History. Barnaby's heart cart-wheeled in his chest as he turned to Kotetsu, who was looking at him with drowsy eyes.

"Anyone ever tell you your eyelashes are really long?" the brunette joked, voice fraught with exhaustion.

"Not after drunken sex," Barnaby said smartly, blinking.

Kotetsu chuckled, turning his head to look up at the ceiling. There was a thoughtful pause before he spoke again, his tone somber: "That wasn't as weird as I thought it'd be, y'know? Maybe it's the booze," he forced an empty laugh, as though he was joking, but Barnaby predicted this wasn't a casual light-hearted conversation.

"Someone puttin' _that_ in _there_… it's probly gonna hurt tomorrow, I bet..." Kotetsu trailed off, moving his eyes to Barnaby, but keeping his face toward the ceiling. "But I s'pose you're not just some random guy, huh?" Another humourlous laugh. "That was somethin' totally different... I know you. I trust you…"

Barnaby sat up, momentarily stunned by the heavy weight in his head, the early promise of a hang-over. He looked down at Kotetsu, curious, beckoning out the rest of what Kotetsu needed to say with his expression.

"So… I dunno, maybe… you won't forget me in the morning?" the smile on the older man's face was troubled. His words were conveying something more, a meaning that Kotetsu had yet to disclose. Regardless of what it meant, there wasn't a chance Barnaby would allow this night to be labeled as a drunken mistake.

With no hesitation, Barnaby firmly took hold of Kotetsu's left hand, forcing their fingers to entwine.

"Just because we're drunk, doesn't make this a mistake." The blonde bobbed his head in a reassuring nod, not only for Kotetsu, but for himself. "You might not believe me, but you're important to me. More important than anyone else. And I don't regret what we did, not for a second."

Easing himself to sit up, the older man's face was incredulous. "Bunny, what're—"

"I want to be with you," Barnaby spoke resolutely as he brought Kotetsu's hand to his lips, placing a deliberate kiss to Kotetsu silver wedding band. "I want to protect you."

Kotetsu's hand immediately became rigid, but he didn't pull away.

Lips brushing against the same ring that Barnaby found his mind frequently preoccupied by; the ring that caused him monumental heartache. The symbol of love that Kotetsu shared with his wife; the tiny piece of metal that day-in and day-out taunted Barnaby. Always somehow glistening against Kotetsu's cinnamon coloured skin, shimmering so bright it seemed like a blinding reminder that he and Kotetsu would never be together, never share true love. But maybe that could change. The sleepless nights Barnaby had spent convincing himself that the tormenting circle of silver, always adorned on the hand of the man he loved, was the barrier between his emotions and his actions. The threshold that was proof Kotetsu tried to be loyal, through life and death. With his lips feathering elegantly across the surface of the ring, his heart pounding at a thousand beats a minute, his emerald coloured eyes peering up at the face of the man who he knew belonged to him in this moment; he knew things could easily change. And, he hoped for more than that. More than the fleeting memory of lewd, intoxicated sex. More than stupid jokes made during interviews and work. More than making fried rice for eachother. More than friendship. Even drunk, Barnaby could understand his feelings, why he had asked Kotetsu to be with him tonight, why he had always been enthralled with the stupid things, the cute things, the _anything_ and _everything_ Kotetsu did. This man was perfect in every detail. Nothing would alter that truth.

Barnaby's lips grazed against the ring for a second, slower kiss.


	5. Chapter 5: The Morning After

_"Bunny, don't," Kotetsu's voice was a sharp but meager whisper._

_In Barnaby's soft grasp, the older man's hand twitched in discomfort, fingers stiff._

_Confused, Barnaby looked up. His gaze was met by two sad eyes that hung waiting on him. Kotetsu's eyes pleaded him in silence, so different from how they had always appeared to Barnaby; lackluster and empty. Eyes that were so vastly strange and forlorn, Barnaby felt for a moment he wasn't looking at Kotetsu at all. But beyond the hand he held, the face was unmistakeably that of Kotetsu's, only twisted into a frown, eyebrows low and fretful. It was an expression that Barnaby couldn't recall witnessing before; agonized to the point where it seemed as though something was physically ailing Kotetsu. In that moment, there was a disconnect separating the two of them, making them strangers. Somehow the older man looked incredibly distant and lonely, an entirely different person embodied with sorrow._

_Uneasily, while moving his lips from Kotetsu's ring, Barnaby sat up straight. As his body readjusted, he could feel himself crumble at Kotetsu's blatant rejection. Unsure of what he was expected to do, crippled by the sudden misery in Kotetsu's eyes, Barnaby merely smiled, politely nodding as he released the other man's hand. A tiny pain throbbed within his chest._

_The moment his hand was free, Kotetsu focused his eyes on the ring, bringing his hand closer to his face. The light played off the ring's surface as it always seemed to do. Glinting with sheer brilliance; resilient and powerfully bright even at a time when Barnaby had felt like Kotetsu was his own. A spike of jealousy forced Barnaby to want to avert his eyes. But couldn't bring himself to stop staring. The way Kotetsu's eyes meticulously combed the ring, checking for imperfections, to Barnaby it looked like Kotetsu expected the silver to disintegrate or melt away, tainted by the kiss._

_Wounded by his cumbersome emotions, Barnaby edged closer to the older man, taking Kotetsu's ringless hand to intertwine their fingers._

_Their eyes met then, and some form of relief had returned to Kotetsu's face, for which Barnaby was slightly thankful._

_As they laid together with their fingers linked, drifting to sleep, Barnaby tried to distract his tired mind from the turmoil of the two golden eyes that had gazed into him; how they had twinkled with heartbreak. Barnaby wished he hadn't seen them. The image held in his mind, vivid and refusing to dissipate. Behind his own eyelids Barnaby saw the hauntingly heartbroken eyes leering back at him; expectant and miserable. _

_Barnaby gently squeezed his grip on Kotetsu's hand._

_Kotetsu reciprocated with a short, soft squeeze back._

_And for that moment, Barnaby convinced himself to be satisfied._

When he awoke, Barnaby was laying on the floor of his apartment. Tired, hazy green eyes fluttered open slowly, blinking dazedly against the dim sunlight filling the room. Limbs, an extra arm and leg were tossed over him, warming his body with their contact. There was already a dull pound in his temples accompanied by the resilient taste of wine that lingered in his mouth; it was potent enough to make his stomach feel queasy. Letting out a hushed yawn, Barnaby propped himself on his elbows, careful to not stir the man who was asleep next to him. From the window, the sun shone inside to illuminate the room with a dreary morning light. Small but eager snowflakes were falling outside the window, descending from the enormous blanket of dark clouds in the sky. The world appeared gloomy, tinted a hue of grey, and even the buildings appeared ominous. Barnaby wasn't typically unnerved by the weather, but somehow the bleak sky and carelessly tumbling snowflakes seemed foreboding enough to rouse substantial discomfort within him. Returning his attention to his own living room, Barnaby let his eyes fall down to Kotetsu.

Immediately there was a sense of shame that hit Barnaby as he was bombarded by the memories from the night before; an instant flash-bang of recollection surged through him as he gazed down on the slumbering, nude man whom he had slept with the previous night. Burning hot, a blush swept across the blonde's face.

Wanting, but all at once nervous, Barnaby had the urge to reach out and touch Kotetsu, just to prove this wasn't some sort of dream. If he were to let his hand sweep through the tussled brown hair, trace his fingers across the defined jawline that was slack as Kotetsu slept, Barnaby would certainly be able to deduce this wasn't his mind tiredly creating fiction. Undeniable peacefulness was plastered the older man's face, making him all the more alluring. Fighting his desires, overcome with the dangerous nature of the situation, Barnaby opted to cautiously ease himself free from the leg and arm Kotetsu had slung over him.

There was weight to Kotetsu's arm and leg, ensuring Barnaby this wasn't a dream, he was living reality, and his recollection of the night before was also real. When Barnaby was safely on his feet, grateful he hadn't awoken Kotetsu, he made his way across the apartment to his bedroom.

His steps were feverish, quick and jaunty with excitement. Somehow, the whole morning felt like a victory. It was foolish to think about it in that sense, but Barnaby couldn't stop himself. Whether he had wanted to admit it or not, Barnaby was genuinely happy with what had happened. Finally the feelings he had worked so hard to untangle, battling through the knots of his morals, his social duty as Kotetsu's ally, all of that had been unraveled. Nothing was crystal clear, or set in stone for where the two would go from here, but Barnaby was hopeful. With a pesky smile plastered across his lips, Barnaby went inside his bedroom.

He first stopped at his dresser to remove clean clothes; already planning to have a shower, and hoping during that time Kotetsu would wake up on his own. On any other occasion, it would have been simple to wake Kotetsu up, however this morning it seemed rousing the other man from sleep was an impossible task; too awkward, too embarrassing. Blood still pooled hot in Barnaby's face, burning up to his ears as he played the scenario in his mind.

There was a certain amount of guilt Barnaby felt for their situation, after all they had been drunk. There was the likelihood that nothing would have transpired had neither drank anything, or if Barnaby hadn't been feeling like he had earned his selfishness with Kotetsu.

Gruffly shaking his head at that thought, Barnaby moved to his bed, stripping the blanket from the sheets. He justified his selfishness as mutual desire, considering the fact that Kotetsu wouldn't have slept with him if there wasn't at least some desire. Naturally, Barnaby knew the alcohol was a catalyst, but not the sole factor in determining what had happened. Bundling the comforter over his arm, and tossing his clean clothes onto his shoulder, Barnaby left his bedroom.

When he returned to the living room, Kotetsu was quietly snoring. Barnaby also noted that the other man had changed position, curled up, resembling how an animal slept. Barnaby was hit with an overwhelming urge to wake Kotetsu up. Ideally, they would skip work, spend the day together talking, bonding, and hopefully getting along fine now that they were sober. It could be easy if they both still had feelings for each other, and Barnaby knew he felt a lot for Kotetsu, far beyond friendship. While pleasant scenarios of their time together whirled through his head, Barnaby cautiously stepped over to Kotetsu with as much silence as possible, setting the blanket over top of him. The comforter was large and plush, settling over Kotetsu's body in a cloud-like puff of navy blue material.

Without wanting to chance Kotetsu waking up, Barnaby slowly made his leave, heading to the bathroom.

On a usual morning, when Barnaby was alone in his apartment, he would take his showers leisurely, unconcerned for the amount of hot water he was using, but this morning he found himself only taking a mere five minutes. The shower had given rise to Barnaby's anxiety, granting him an enclosed area to think, and his thoughts had been loud. Any doubt he had seemed to spring from his head, bounce off the bathroom tiles, flying around him in a flurry, repeatedly attacking him. And while Barnaby had wanted to be confident, wanted to be certain Kotetsu wouldn't sneak out of the apartment when he awoke, there was no way to be sure. A tug at his heart forced Barnaby to slam his palm against the shower knob, abruptly stopping the flow of warm water.

While he was drying off, and commencing his normal morning routine, Barnaby tried to rationalize with himself.

It wasn't like him to get overly hyped about a situation, to bring his hopes up only resulted in disappointment. He knew that very well, he had never liked to put his emotions in the hands of others, because others were too hard to trust; impossible to trust. With all that standing true, and even though Barnaby knew he honestly believed it was foolish to rest his happiness on the actions of others, he also was positive Kotetsu was different. Barnaby was certain of that. Briskly running a comb through his hair, setting it in the correct position to dry, Barnaby leered at his reflection.

There was only one way to figure out if things would be different between them, and that was confronting Kotetsu. It wouldn't be easy, and Barnaby could already feel his mouth dry up and throat tighten at the thought.  
>With a last glare into the mirror, Barnaby exited the bathroom.<p>

And to his surprise, standing in the main room was Kotetsu. The dark blanket was coiled around him in a cocoon, and the older man was angled towards the window, slightly hunched over but seemingly admiring the weather.

Clearing his throat gruffly, to get the other man's attention, Barnaby walked into the kitchen.

"Good morning."

Kotetsu turned around then, his hands clutching the blanket that was tightly wrapped around himself.

"Mornin'," the smile on his face was evident solely through the tone of the one word.

"Can I make you some coffee?" Barnaby asked as he opened the fridge, retrieving a carton of milk.

"I was hopin' to shower first," Kotetsu nodded, his eyes were focused but tired as he watched Barnaby's movements. "Leave any hot water for me?"

"Of course, plenty. And there's fresh towels on the rack," the younger man said, retrieving coffee mix out of one of the cupboards.

"Thanks, Bunny, I'll be quick," Kotetsu steadily made his way to the bathroom, a trail of the comforter's fabric dragging along behind him as he disappeared down the hallway.

As Barnaby passed the time making a pot of coffee, he let his mind wander. The situation he was in was undoubtedly precarious. Neither had mentioned, or even acted as though the night before had happened. Kotetsu hadn't given him any overt signals about what it meant, or if their relationship had even been altered in the slightest. It was nerve-wracking, but Barnaby had trained his pokerface, and he was able to play nonchalance for as long as he had to, even if that meant forever.

That thought stung him, hard and sharp in the chest. A deep pang of agony pinched his heartstrings at the idea that everything they had shared together was a write-off. It was possible Kotetsu had been too drunk to remember anything, but wouldn't waking up naked be enough indication?

It was then that Barnaby looked over, and noted Kotetsu's discarded clothing from the night before had been gathered up, presumably taken to the bathroom along with Kotetsu himself. Barnaby's hands trembled as he opened the cupboard to pull out two coffee cups.

It was beginning to be difficult to act collected, and in Kotetsu's presence, Barnaby knew it would be twice as hard to maintain his composure. Nervous fingers tapped against the side of the coffee machine, beating the plastic to the rhythm of Barnaby's erratic heartbeat. The machine hummed back, low grumbling sounds that were wet as the coffee poured into the glass container. The aroma of the coffee helped soothed Barnaby's nerves, it was familiar and safe, unlike all the cataclysm of panic and euphoria battling within his body.

The sound of the bathroom door creaking open, followed by footsteps forced Barnaby from his stupor and into professional mode, or the closest thing he could muster to stability.

Kotetsu walked out from the hall, into the kitchen. A towel cinched tight around his waist, and another tossed over his shoulders, he wore his patent grin.

"That's some shower you've got, Bunny," Kotetsu said, genuine amazement in his tone. With much more bounce in his step than he had prior to the shower, the older man sauntered to the counter, leaning forward and resting his elbows against the granite. "I felt like royalty in there."

"I suppose it's a bit overly lavish," Barnaby responded curtly, uninterested in the topic, more distracted by the droplets of water tracing lines down Kotetsu's bare chest. Barnaby didn't let his stare linger for too long before he brought his eyes to Kotetsu's face.

"I'm not sure if you take anything in it," Barnaby said, gesturing towards the milk and sugar on the counter as he poured a cup of coffee for the older man.

"This is perfect," Kotetsu responded, taking the mug from the younger man. He immediately took a large drink, his eyes staying focused on Barnaby over the rim of the mug as he swallowed.

The way Kotetsu was leering at him caused Barnaby discomfort, a heavy weight began to push on his chest. He could feel his heart rate increasing again, steading beating turned into quickened pounding. Taking a sharp breath in, Barnaby carefully poured a small amount of milk in his coffee, watching the white fad away into the black. He brought up a spoon, dunking it into the liquid, swirling away the last traces of white. His nerves were still wracked, hands quivering with uncertainty.

Kotetsu's voice then broke through Barnaby's thoughts:

"So, about last night…" the older man's voice was lacking the confidence it usually carried.

"Yes?" Barnaby answered immediately, inwardly chastising himself for his hastiness.

With his left hand wrapped around his coffee cup, Kotetsu tapped his wedding ring nervously against the ceramic. The sound was piercing, sharp as it echoed in their momentary silence.

Like a magnet, Barnaby's eyes were drawn to Kotetsu's wedding band. The silver continued to clink against the mug.

"D'you remember anything?" the words came out slowly, Kotetsu seemingly forcing them from his throat.

It was a loaded question, and it sank like a rock in the pit of Barnaby's stomach.  
>The words were undeniably heavy, packed with doubt as Kotetsu spoke them. Barnaby didn't know how to respond. Truthfully, he knew he couldn't clearly remember everything, not precise details of every word they spoke, or every touch they shared, but he hadn't forgotten the punchline of the night. The sex. That part was clear, even the sounds, the emotions, everything Barnaby had been feeling and had given, and received. That part of the night had been exactly as he desired, he couldn't forget it. He was certain he never would.<p>

Trying to settle his fevered mind while maintaining his demeanor, Barnaby silenced his thoughts: "Yes," he answered plainly. It was a safe answer, and he knew that. Careful to uphold an appearance of casualty, he asked: "Do you?"

Kotetsu's eyes suddenly became thin, narrowed on Barnaby's face. The brunette's expression was serious, scrutinizing Barnaby's facial expressions. Kotetsu's eyebrows were knit downward, furrowed lowly as he let his eyes land on all dimensions of Barnaby's features, as though Barnaby's thoughts were written along the skin and Kotetsu could read them. It made Barnaby uneasy with the other man's eyes on him with such aggression. Kotetsu seemed desperate to read him, in need to know of what Barnaby could recollect. There was no give in the situation, and Barnaby was unsure of whether Kotetsu wanted to know all of what Barnaby could remember. It seemed clear that whether Barnaby could remember anything or not, Kotetsu wasn't happy about it.

There was no relief on Kotetsu's face when his posture relaxed. He pulled himself back, resting his weight on his left leg; eyes returning to their usual roundness with a frown on his face.

"You don't seem happy that I remember," Barnaby noted from the other man's obvious body language. He took a drink from his coffee which somehow tasted impossibly bitter.  
><em><br>__Is my imagination getting to me?_

A knee-jerk reaction, Kotetsu lit up his face with a smile, fake, but a smile no less. "Y'got me all wrong."

Raising his eyebrows in doubt, Barnaby's expression was expectant of a clearer explanation.

"I'm just thinkin' we drank a lot," Kotetsu looked uncertain again, hiding behind his smile. "So, what parts do you remember?"

Barnaby's body was a tremor, an earthquake in his apartment, shuddering and shaking as he gathered his confidence. Setting his mug of coffee down on the counter, he swiftly walked to Kotetsu's side, setting one hand on the older man's waist.

"Bunny." A protest. Round brown eyes looked at Barnaby, trying but failing to oppose what both men knew was inevitable.

With his hand still on Kotetsu's hip, he tugged them close together, lips making contact with perfect precision.

Much to his surprise, Kotetsu didn't resist, but rather stayed motionless, like a statue in Barnaby's arms as the younger of the two men angled his head to the side, getting a better angle for their contact.

The kiss wasn't deep, or even passionate, but it was telling for what Barnaby remembered of the night, and what Kotetsu had been alluding to.

The kiss was enough to bring the men physically together, but solidify the miles of distance between their thoughts. 

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Not that thrilling, but the next chapter is far more delicious, assuredly! Stick around ok~?


	6. Chapter 6: The Mistake

"H-hey, hey," Kotetsu's hand pressed hard against Barnaby's chest after only mere moments of their kiss. With slightly panicked force, his hand then pushed the younger man back.

Surprised by the abrupt ending, Barnaby arched an eyebrow at Kotetsu, inquisitive of the other man's actions.

Kotetsu's face mirrored Barnaby's own perplexity. The older man then opened his mouth to defend his actions, but only released a hushed utterance that was incomprehensible. Kotetsu's hand withdrew from Barnaby's chest, his warm palm vanishing in an instant.

Without needing more of a reason than the bizarre expression on the brunette's face, Barnaby eased off, returning to the counter where he had placed his coffee mug. He kept his back to Kotetsu as he spoke:

"We should leave for work soon, if we intend to be on time."

Nodding, despite that fact that Barnaby's back was to him, Kotetsu assented. "Good idea."

There were powerful prickles of pain festering in Barnaby's chest, burning him like drops of acid, corroding beyond his ribs, searing his heart. Tense, Barnaby kept his back to the older man, knowing if he were to face him he might not be able to contain his emotions.

He leered down into the warm cup of coffee. There was a storm of feelings brewing within him; feelings that were not limited to sadness, but leaned heavily towards frustration. Everything Kotetsu had done was a mixed signal; it wasn't like math where there was only one solution, solved by a simple formula. This was trying to decode someone else's thoughts, as well as his own, and Barnaby had no algorithms to use to his advantage. Everything ached, his head, his heart, his entire body. The prolonged yo-yoing emotional instability that had been crashing over him was taking its toll; Barnaby knew he wasn't as strong-willed as he projected to the world. He wasn't as confident as he acted; he was just as vulnerable as everyone else.

"Listen, Bunny, I—" Kotetsu took a cautious step towards Barnaby, hand extended.

"Go get dressed. We're already late," Barnaby's words were absolute, unemotional, completely disguising the chaos that tore through his body.

Kotetsu's hand withdrew immediately, as though an invisible fire had singed his skin. For a seemingly endless moment, he waited silently behind Barnaby. Droplets of water from the older man's still dampened hair pattered against the ground, falling to the floor in an array of wayward speckles. Without any further protests, and when he decided Barnaby wasn't going to say anything more, Kotetsu finally turned away, heading towards the bathroom.

The moment Barnaby heard the sound of the bathroom door being pulled shut, his knees buckled. In an instant, they gave from under him, causing his kneecaps to collide hard against the linoleum of the kitchen floor. Heavy and limp, all at once feeling light headed, Barnaby slouched over. His hand snapped up immediately, tearing his glasses from his face. He resisted the urge to confront Kotetsu, knowing in this state of mind he was bound to say something he would regret, but there was so much to say. A flurry of questions that needed to be answered, emotions that needed to be confronted. Barnaby wasn't terribly versed in how relationships worked, or what classified as a relationship, but he knew whatever he and Kotetsu had was something too valuable to chance. It was highly probable that hope was lost for any type of romantic relationship, but that wasn't the primary concern Barnaby had. His main priority was to salvage their friendship. Romance could be rebuilt if there was a foundation of friendship to hold it up. If the rest of the day could go by, he and Kotetsu could discuss their issue when they were no longer needed for work. And that was exactly what Barnaby set his mind on. It was a series of "if's", but it was all he could rely on.

With new resolve, Barnaby gathered himself. Rising gravely from the floor, he placed his glasses back on. Once on his feet again, Barnaby did his best to whisk away his feelings, setting them on the backburner in the farthest depths of his mind. He had learned from years of experience that there was no sense in wallowing in self-pity, it was far more practical to make a plan and take action. Strive for what you want to never stop until you attain it.

At that time, the bathroom door opened again, releasing its familiar creak as the door moved on its hinges. With his clothes fairly wrinkled, and a disappointed look on his face, Kotetsu walked back into the kitchen. His tie was loose, and his face wasn't as cleanly shaven as it typically would have been.

"Ready?" Kotetsu's voice was low, not an ounce of his usual eagerness present.

"Of course," Barnaby breezed past Kotetsu, leaving the kitchen and heading for the front door. "We'll walk there. The weather shouldn't be cold."

The brunette merely shrugged in compliance, he too walked over to the door and began to put on the winter gear that he had brought from the night before.

After leaving Barnaby's apartment, the pair walked to the Apollon Media building together. Neither dared to venture into conversation of the night before, despite that it weighed heavily on both of their minds. The weather hadn't changed much since Barnaby had looked out the window, but for now he understood why he had felt that looming sense of misery when he awoke. The weather felt all too fitting for where Barnaby was in his own mind. And as much as he knew he wanted to talk to Kotetsu, he wouldn't allow himself. Barnaby was intent on avoiding catastrophe, bringing up anything to rouse emotions would only cause more grief between the two of them. And being the focused man that he was, Barnaby was aware that trouble wouldn't be wise to bring to the office. Later, in time, he and Kotetsu would come to understand where they stood in terms of their friendship; however it was being patient that tested Barnaby.

When they arrived at the office, they separated and went to their desks. Barnaby immediately delved into work, using it as a means to distract himself. He knew if he let his mind linger too much on Kotetsu, there was no telling what he would end up doing. The thought of destroying whatever remained of their friendship was daunting, and far too painful to face. He kept himself in check, vowing repeatedly to himself that he would clear everything up. Besides, he knew with all the lack of communication between himself and Kotetsu, he would have time to plan how to handle the situation.

They worked in silence; the atmosphere of the office was high tension, and low spirits. Kotetsu, who would typically do anything but work (mainly spending his time chatting with either Barnaby or the secretary), was working earnestly on the files on his desk. Not once pausing to take a moment for himself, or to nap, and if the two hadn't been walking on thin ice, Barnaby would have commended such disciplined work. The two worked steadily beside each other, able to reach out and touch the other's arm if they so desired, but neither would even glance up from their desk.

After taking a short break to use the restroom and get a drink of coffee, Barnaby returned to his desk. To his surprise, Kotetsu was absent. Brushing it off as nothing, Barnaby walked to his seat, placing down his cup and beginning his work once again. It wasn't out of the ordinary for Kotetsu to slack off and abandon work for a few minutes, it was an everyday occurrence to wrangle the older man into getting anything done. Even though this day had been leaps and bounds more awkward than their usual work days, Barnaby had suspected that Kotetsu would eventually give up on working hard, it was only a matter of time before the older man's habitual procrastination would crop up. However, after twenty minutes had gone by and there was no sign of Kotetsu, Barnaby had a suspicion something more unsavoury was going on. Ceasing his work, Barnaby leaned back in his chair, eyeing the empty desk next to his own.

Eager and concerned, the blonde stood up from his chair. Feeling a bit presumptuous, and moderately ashamed, Barnaby scuffed his shoes along the floor until he reached the secretary's desk. She was an older woman with slightly graying hair that was cut short and business-like, as Barnaby nervously eyed her, he couldn't remember seeing her smile much. In an even tone he questioned her:

"Excuse me, did Mr. Kaburagi happen to tell you where he went?"

Looking up from her computer screen with a less than impressed expression, the secretary huffed out an irritated breath. "He said he wasn't feeling well so he would be leaving early. He didn't mention it you?"

The tone of her voice was somehow accusing, like she was blaming Barnaby for Kotetsu's abrupt departure. Pushing beyond his petty suspicions, Barnaby shook his head. "No, he must have been a hurry. Thank-you."

Barnaby walked away from the secretary's desk then, eyes low, frown set on his lips.

_He's not sick._

Barnaby glared up at the clock that hung on the wall.

3:43 pm.

It wasn't entirely absurd to leave at this hour. He had no meetings or appointments for the day, only a maximum two hours worth of paperwork left, but he needed to leave. Kotetsu had tossed a wrench in his plan by taking off early, and that gesture alone was enough to make Barnaby's insides churn with distress. Making an irrational decision was against Barnaby's better judgement, he knew it was irresponsible to abandon his work. However using that same logic, having feelings for Kotetsu was also against his better judgement, or any judgement he had ever listened to before. But Kotetsu was compelling, always drawing Barnaby closer, forcing them together like magnets. There wasn't any chance of Barnaby turning his back on the other man now, not after all that had happened.

It was decided, and Barnaby didn't bother to say a word as he quickly left the office.

-

It was only thirty minutes later when Barnaby found himself standing outside of Kotetsu's apartment door. In one hand, he clutched tightly on a recently purchased bouquet of flowers, the other was combing fretfully through his hair. The nervousness that was inside of him was uncontrollable, shaking his bones, tugging at his heart, plucking at his brain. If he messed up, he was destroying something that was precious to him. Barnaby didn't dare to dream what that truly meant. But if things went right, if there was smooth sailing, he and Kotetsu could start living a life that Barnaby had always wanted; a life of safety. Furthermore, it would become of a life Barnaby could finally trust. His jaw felt like it locked at the thought.

Edging closer to the door, Barnaby rattled his knuckles against the wood. It was an erratic knock, unpleasant and jarring to the ears. Kotetsu didn't notice details like that, or rather he never seemed to bring them up. That worked in Barnaby's favour, Kotetsu's innate desire to make every situation as comfortable and warm as possible. It was just another part of Kotetsu that made him entirely loveable, much more understanding than other people, much more desirable. Barnaby then heard movement coming from the other side of the door, he forced down his feelings, trying to act as aloof as possible.

When Kotetsu opened the door, he was obviously distressed. Unlike his usual pleasant demeanor, Kotetsu looked frazzled. There was unmistakable redness around his eyes, from what appeared to be the aftermath of tears.

Barnaby was shocked, his grip tightened on the bouquet in his hands. The wrapping on the flowers crinkled loudly, like the static from a TV.

"Bunny?" Kotetsu's voice quavered, he brought one hand up, wiping his eyes in a quick motion. "What're you doin' here?"

"I…" Still stunned, Barnaby fumbled out an answer: "The secretary said you were ill," he gathered himself, unable to drag his gaze away from Kotetsu's sad eyes. "I was worried."

"And that?" Kotetsu raised his index finger, pointing at the arrangement of flowers Barnaby held in his hands.

"Tiger lillies," Barnaby automatically extended his arm, forcing the bright orange flowers at the brunette.

"Tiger lillies?" Kotetsu looked comically skeptical as his eyes glanced rapidly from the flowers to Barnaby. "Well, thanks. Hey, come in, I should put these in water."

Opening the door wider, Kotetsu ushered Barnaby in before taking the flowers from the younger man.

"Thank-you," Barnaby spoke monotonously, feeling a sensory overload. It hadn't been long since the two of them had been sitting side-by-side in the office, but this person who Barnaby was with now felt like an entirely different man.

Holding the flowers close to his chest, Kotetsu's face softened as he looked serenely down at the vibrantly coloured bouquet.

"Y'know, no one's ever given me flowers before," the older man said whimsically, brushing his fingertips along one of the orange petals. Slowly, he made his way to the kitchen sink, turning on the tap.

_Adorable_. Barnaby stepped further inside Kotetsu's apartment, closing the door behind him. His heart was beating out of control, throbbing with anticipation and anxiety. He was unsure of how he was expected to behave, it would be uncouth to broach the topic immediately, but if not now, when would an opportunity arise?

While in the kitchen, Kotetsu bent down in front of the sink, opening one of the cupboard doors. After a few moments of shuffling objects around, Kotetsu withdrew a light blue vase with a scene of flowers, trees and butterflies painted across it. Barnaby noted that along the side of the vase, scribbled rather messily, were the words _to Dad love Kaede_. Holding the vase under the stream of the water, Kotetsu seemed to brighten. "So, you skipped work to come give me these?"

"And check on you," Barnaby said, raising his eyes from the vase. "An old man like you getting sick isn't something to be taken lightly."

"Y'didn't have to do that," Kotetsu said sheepishly as he removed the flowers from their wrapping. It crinkled again, that horrible jarring crackle of cellophane; Barnaby swallowed the lump in his throat.

Kotetsu then carefully began to arrange the flowers. There were 7 of them, and after a few moments of maneuvering the lillies to sit in the vase, Kotetsu seemed satisfied. Proudly, he took a step back with his hands on his hips. As if looking for approval, Kotetsu turned to Barnaby with a grin. The redness around the older man's eyes had faded, but still evoked irrepressible curiosity in Barnaby.

Seemingly not entirely pleased with the flowers' placement, Kotetsu moved his hands back to the stems of the plants. As the older man gently twisted the stems, Barnaby couldn't help but inquire:

"Is there a reason you left work without a word to me?"

Kotetsu froze. In an instant, he pulled his busied hands away from the lillies to clasp his fingers together. He began to twirl the silver wedding band on his left hand with incessant vigor. Never wrenching the ring off, but rather forcing it down, boring it into the skin between his fingers.

The gesture wasn't subtle, and Barnaby had other indications ever since that morning that this was something to do with Kotetsu's wife. Barnaby didn't know very much of Tomoe, only the few stories Kotetsu had been willing to share. The area was delicate, nothing to be toyed with. It was in Barnaby's best interest to avoid being harsh or impatient with Kotetsu, and he knew the ideal way to ask would be as entirely vague as possible, and let Kotetsu do most of the talking.

"Does this have anything to do with your marriage?" Barnaby leaned against the back of Kotetsu's couch, maintaining distance between the two of them. His arms folded across his chest as he kept his eyes warily on the older man.

Unexpectedly, Kotetsu smiled.  
>"I'm that obvious?" He asked rhetorically, setting his hands on the edge of the counter.<p>

Barnaby didn't respond.

"I made a mistake," Kotetsu admitted, keeping his head down, peering into stainless steel sink.

_Mistake_. Barnaby felt lightheaded, and was thankful he had the couch to keep him stable. It was odd how one word felt more brutal than any insult that had been directed at him, harder than any punch he had endured, more painful that any injury he had sustained. It was one word that made every molecule in Barnaby's body feel exposed and on display. Despite the mounting dizziness in his head, Barnaby was intent to understand what was troubling Kotetsu. The chances seemed slim, nearly impossible, but Barnaby knew that if there was any possibility he could be with Kotetsu, he would do whatever it took. Mistakes could be corrected, after all.

"I love Tomoe," Kotetsu said strongly, face resolute and sure. "I won't stop loving her."

Jealousy hit him like a sharp serrated knife. Agonizing pain that sliced into his body, dragging across his skin in a deliberate motion. It hurt, but it was expected. Barnaby wasn't naïve. And the flame of hope that he had burning in his heart wasn't easy to douse. Barnaby was willing to listen, hungry for more of Kotetsu's words.

"But…" Kotetsu's monologue was difficult. Thinking, the older man's face was nervous, highly uncomfortable. "I've got feelings for you, and I can't ignore 'em."

"And what exactly are those feelings?" Barnaby was suave in his inquiry, ever thankful his voice wasn't telling of his true emotional state.

The expression on Kotetsu's face was scornful as he raised his eyes from the sink to look to Barnaby.

"Bunny, you know what they are," the brunette grumbled shortly, not entirely frustrated with Barnaby, but rather unwilling to vocalize his emotions.

Barnaby doubted that he did know for certain, but didn't press any further. Perhaps it was a mutual feeling of respect, or even love that Kotetsu had for him, but it couldn't be anywhere nearly as devote as Barnaby felt. The agonizing desperation that he felt when he thought of Kotetsu, when he looked at the other man's wedding ring; that was something he couldn't put into words, not even to rationalize to himself. There was nothing like that pain Barnaby felt when he looked at Kotetsu, especially in this uncertain situation they had encountered.

"I want everything work out," Kotetsu said, turning his leer down to the lillies in the vase. A sheen of moisture was evident in the older man's eyes as he kept them downwards. "And you're annoyed at me 'cos of this morning, I know."

Without wanting to stop Kotetsu, but all the while wanting to assure him there was no hard feelings, Barnaby remained silent. He could feel himself quivering, nerves and emotions building inside him with immeasurable force. It felt like he needed to scream, and this was usually the time where he would leave, to avoid any unsightly outbursts, but he couldn't. It would be entirely unforgivable to abandon Kotetsu. Fighting the urge to escape, be anywhere but here, Barnaby grit his teeth and kept his gaze steady on Kotetsu.

"Guess I'm just a stupid old man, huh?" Kotetsu smiled morosely, finally meeting eyes with the blonde. A tear trickled from one of the older man's eyes. "Selfish, too."

There was a different strike of pain in Barnaby's chest, not jealously or anger, nothing he would label as sadness either. It was a sensation entirely foreign but immensely overwhelming; something like guilt. Having to look at Kotetsu, who seemed entirely shattered, eyes reddened with tears lurking on the sills. It was exactly what Barnaby had been hellbent on avoiding, yet it had happened. There was no doubt that Kotetsu would never stop lamenting over the loss of his late wife, that was an inevitability Barnaby could relate to. There would always be a piece of Kotetsu that was gone, just as there was with Barnaby over his parents murder, but it was suddenly becoming clear to Barnaby that simply because both men had missing pieces, didn't mean they would be able to fit together. Life wasn't like a puzzle, the pieces didn't fit together seemlessly. The realization was all too much for Barnaby then, and he knew it was time for him to leave.

It was decided at that point, and Barnaby knew what was best. Regardless of how awful it felt, or how immensely he already regretted it, there was no other option that seemed plausible. With wavering confidence, Barnaby removed himself from the back of the couch, making his way to where Kotetsu stood in the kitchen.

"Bunny?"

When he was at Kotetsu's side, Barnaby carefully took the other man's left hand. Deliberate in his actions, Barnaby brought the hand to his lips, placing a single kiss to the wedding band there.

"I wasn't lying when I said I wanted to protect you," Barnaby spoke sternly as he roused the memories of their previous night together. "This is something I would never ask you do to."

Barnaby gently lowered Kotetsu's hand, releasing it.

Unable to say anything, Kotetsu stared wide eyed at the younger man before him.

Cautiously, Barnaby stroked his fingers along one of Kotetsu's cheeks, wiping the lines of tear drops that had fallen. "I understand what this means, and I respect your decision."

The older man's body shot forward then, like he had been shoved from behind. "Woah, Bunny, wait. What decision?" Kotetsu demanded an answer, incomprehension was evident on his face.

A smile, trained and meek was on Barnaby's lips. His slender fingers trailed down, index finger pressing firmly at the corner of Kotetsu's mouth for only a moment.

"There's not much of a chance for us is there?" Barnaby asked, but he had already known the answer.

It was clear enough for him. Barnaby didn't believe in second chances, or lucky breaks. Everything in his own life had been orchestrated like a play, people being tugged along like puppets on strings. Nothing was happenstance, and reality was always cloudy. Things had been different. Kotetsu made him undeniably happy, more happiness than he knew what to do with, or thought he even deserved. And however pleasant the thought of a romantic future together was, nothing was worth putting Kotetsu through pain; not if it was entirely unavoidable.

Breathless and shaking Kotetsu gaped at Barnaby. His eyes were round, flooded with tears.

No trace of a smile on his lips, Barnaby took a step away from the other man then, eyes downcast. Unfalteringly, Barnaby backed away, before turning around and heading towards the door.

Wordlessly, he tugged open the door and stepped out of the older man's house.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I hope to make the last chapter not an "I'm Barnaby and I feel things" chapter but like. I mean. I'm clearly in love with him so excuse my blatant favouritism. Unforgivable, I'm sorry! LAST CHAPTER NEXT TIME OK SO HANG ON, you'll like it, I promise ok. I mean it, would I lie to you? I would never, my darling... I'm also sorry for my predictable angst and lack of sex on the counter. Again, absolutely unforgivable!


	7. Chapter 7: The End

The receipt was crumpled after being wedged inside Barnaby's jacket pocket, he remembered cramming the small slip of paper away after purchasing the tiger lily bouquet. Now it crinkled in his hands as Barnaby opened it, remembering how he had felt when he bought the flowers, feelings that were miles away from his current state. Lowering his eyes, he watched the black ink of the receipt alter from clear and readable to blurred and hazy; Barnaby gruffly blinked away the stinging sensation of his tears.  
>Wanting to tear the receipt to shreds, destroy the evidence that he had ever bought the flowers, Barnaby set his fingers near the centermost crease of the tattered paper. He waited then.<p>

It wasn't long before he carefully folded the receipt up again, placing on the table beside him, undamaged.

Everything seemed like it had been moving too quickly. The hours it had been since he had left Kotetsu's apartment felt like minutes. The horrible walk home down the streets of Sternbuild; a cold and bitter chill nipping at his skin, wind whipping his hair around. He hated such weather. He hated the city. He hated the people he had walked by. He simply hated.

Barnaby had known it was stupid to place his hopes in anyone but himself, he knew he was the only person he could truly count on. He had learned that lesson so many times before; but being with Kotetsu had made that lesson seem more like a mistake. It felt ok to let Kotetsu exert some control over him, to create that sense of happiness that Barnaby hadn't been sure he'd ever experienced prior to meeting the older man. But with that came a sense of shame. Barnaby had placed too much of his own feelings on Kotetsu, without realistically thinking about the obvious repercussions. Barnaby knew himself as selfish, mostly oriented to do things that would create gain for him, rather than other people.

Cursing, Barnaby slammed his fist against the arm of his chair.

_I'm more stupid than I could have ever imagined._

Barnaby sneered at this cell phone, which was resting next to the receipt on the table. No one had tried to contact him at all, not that it mattered. The one person who he did want to talk to was the same person he didn't want to think about. The effect Kotetsu had over him shamed Barnaby. There was something in the other man's presence that rendered Barnaby entirely defenseless, his better judgement was nonexistent when Kotetsu would smile, or laugh. The boisterous, jolly attitude that Kotetsu exuded was capable of pulling Barnaby from the darkest depths of himself, and for that Barnaby was utterly horrified.

_What the hell am I going to do?_

Precise knocks, four of them, wracked through the apartment suddenly. Barnaby stirred in his chair, head turning in the direction of the front door. The sudden sound in the silent apartment made his heart beat faster, for some reason an inexplicable amount of panic rose in his chest. It was possible he could have imagined the sound, but it had been so sturdy and clear. Carefully, Barnaby got up from the chair, making his way across the room until he reached the door. His palm rested against the handle, hardly touching the surface.

Just then, three more taps of knuckles hit his door, this time in rapid succession, followed by a voice:

"Open up, Bunny, I'm freezin' out here!"

Without a second thought, Barnaby's fingers snapped into action, unlatching the lock on his door. His hand was then turning the doorknob before Barnaby could comprehend his actions.

When the blonde pulled open the door, a rain drenched Kotetsu stood pathetically in the hall, somehow managing to wear his patent grin despite being soaked to the bone.

"There's always a chance," Kotetsu said defiantly, as he brought up his hand. Clenched tightly in his fist was a plant, unidentifiable by Barnaby.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Barnaby growled, he grabbed Kotetsu by the upper arm, dragging him inside.

"Ow! Hey, take it easy!" Kotetsu yelped, prying Barnaby's vice-grip off of him.

"Stay here, you're dripping everywhere." Barnaby commanded, turning his back on the other man. Hastily, the blonde went to the restroom, gathering towels from the rack. "I can't believe you walked in this weather." Barnaby's voice was just below a shout as he made his way back to where Kotetsu obediently waited.

The older man had removed his hat, holding it in one hand, and the shrubbery in the other. Cocking his head to the side, he inquired: "Did y'hear what I said?"

"Shut up," Barnaby hissed, aggressively craning Kotetsu's head downward to rub a towel through the older man's hair. "Why did you come here at this time of night? And in the pouring rain. You really are an idiot."

"My hair's barely wet! Quit it!" Kotetsu grumbled, dropping his hat to swat the younger man's hands. "Look at this!" The brunette extended his hand between the two men, forcing the greenery he held at eye level for the both of them.

Sighing, Barnaby tossed the towel over his shoulder and adjusted his glasses: "You brought shrubs?"

"Tch. For a smart guy, you're not so smart, y'know," Kotetsu said disparagingly, shaking the leaves lightly. "They're not shrubs, they're called Rabbit Tracks."

"And?"

"_And_? Whaddaya mean _and_!?" Kotetsu seemed in disbelief, again rustling the leaves between them. "You got me _tiger_ lilies so I got you _rabbit _tracks...get it?"

Barnaby raised his eyebrows before his face fell into a frown. "What do you expect me to do with these? They're leaves."

Both men stared at the plant clutched in Kotetsu's grip, neither knowing exactly what to say. It was clear to Barnaby that Kotetsu had made an earnest effort to achieve romance, and to perhaps negate what had happened between them earlier, however it wasn't exactly convincing.

"Why did you come here?" Barnaby repeated.

"To fix my mistake," the older man said, leaves lowered at his side.

"It's too la—"

"There ya go again! It's not too late!" Kotetsu fiercely interrupted, stepping closer to the younger man. "You can't go around makin' every decision on your own, especially not this one."

Stunned, all Barnaby could do was listen.

"You can't tell me I decided somethin' when I didn't," Kotetsu eyes were direct and certain. "You trust me, right? I can make my own choices, even if they're crappy sometimes."

"What was I supposed to think? We weren't even speaking," Barnaby defended himself, keeping his tone level. "I merely assumed it was the best solution."

"We weren't not speaking!" Kotetsu shouted, his face looked confused at his own use of a double-negative, but he continued. "I was panicked, is all."

"So, ignoring me was a display of affection?" Barnaby mocked, shrugging in an exaggerated motion. "I don't know how I didn't pick up on that."

"You were ignoring _me_," the older man's voice faltered by the end of the sentence.

And that was a good point, surprisingly unexpected from Kotetsu's distraught state.

Barnaby scoffed, unable to retort.

Gently shaking his head, Kotetsu went on: "I think, even if it's rocky right now, we've got somethin' here."

Jaw tight, teeth grinding together, Barnaby irked at that. Something was perfect about the sincerity in Kotetsu's voice.

"Maybe you see it, maybe you don't," Kotetsu continued. "But I know this feeling, and I know it's stupid to not make the most of it while we can."

Barnaby averted his eyes, running through all the arguments he had been making with himself lately. How stupid it was to put faith in someone besides himself, how thoughtless Kotetsu could be, why both of them were one million times better off without each other. Those voices in his mind that had been deafeningly loud always seemed to become stifled when Kotetsu was at his side, speaking kindly as he always did.

"Damn it," Barnaby uttered, turning away from Kotetsu.

Kotetsu then closed the gap between them, wrapping his arms low around Barnaby's waist in a loose embrace. "I'm glad you didn't forget me in the mornin'… even if you hate me right now."

With Kotetsu's rain dampened body against his back, Barnaby indulged in the aroma of the other man. He lifted Kotetsu's left hand until his warm breaths caressed the older man's fingers.

"I could never hate you." Barnaby murmured against the frigid skin of Kotetsu's hand.

"That's good news," Kotetsu's body shuddered as he released a hushed laugh, weakly squeezing the blonde around his waist.

"Do you forgive me?" Barnaby intertwined their fingers. Kotetsu's ice cold wedding band touched against Barnaby's slender fingers, sending shivers along his bones.

Pulling free from the younger man's grip, Kotetsu planted his hands on Barnaby's hips, turning him around. Once they were face to face, both of their expressions looking guilty, Kotetsu spoke:

"I don't, since you didn't do anything that needs forgiving," he smiled, poking his index finger in the center of Barnaby's chest.

"I was irrational, and—"

"We both messed up. Bad." Kotetsu prodded a second finger against Barnaby's chest. "But it's nothin' we can't handle, bein' a dynamic duo and all."

"Don't call us a dynamic duo, that's sounds so uncool."While masking a quiet laugh, Barnaby noticed Kotetsu's body was lightly quivering. The two fingers the older man had placed on his chest were unsteady. With a sudden sober look in his eyes, Barnaby said: "You're shivering."

"It took me awhile to find those stupid leaves in the rain," Kotetsu responded, removing his fingers from Barnaby's chest. "I'm ok, though."

Contemplating, Barnaby shrugged: "Use this for now." He tossed the towel from his shoulder at Kotetsu, smacking the older man in the face. "If you have a hot shower to warm yourself up, I can drive you back to your place afterwards."

Barnaby bent down, gathering the discarded towels and the leaves from the floor. The abrupt feeling Kotetsu's hand combing through his hair caused Barnaby to look up at the brunette over the rim of his glasses.

"Y'know, I'd go home but, I'm soaked." The words came out of Kotetsu's mouth smoothly, rolling off his tongue in a seductive tone.

Clearing his throat, Barnaby spoke: "That's exactly why you should get in the shower, or perhaps borrow something dry to change into…" he returned his gaze to the ground, trying to hide the arousal he was feeling.

"Bunny, you're not that dumb, are you?" The older man jabbed, carefully curling his fingers in Barnaby's hair to gently tug the younger man to his feet. When their eyes met again, it was clear to Barnaby what Kotetsu had been implicating, the alternative way to warm up.

"You're not serious," Barnaby meant to make it a question, but it was more of a statement.

Disgruntled look on his face, Kotetsu pulled Barnaby's face close to his own. "Are you sayin' no?"

"I'm sayi—" The blonde began before the momentary, warm tickle of Kotetsu's tongue ran along his upper lip.

Everything Barnaby had tortured himself over meant nothing as he grabbed Kotetsu by the back of the neck. The first kiss was short, and Barnaby needed to speak:

"Maybe I do hate you," he grumbled heatedly, forcing frustrated breaths against Kotetsu's mouth. "Words can't express how irritating you are."

There was no desire within Barnaby to control himself anymore. Having Kotetsu with him made him realize just how pathetic it was to fight against his urges. All he could feel were his hands traveling down Kotetsu's body, failing to undo all the buttons on the shirt that was containing the older man's muscled chest.

"Words won't do it, huh?" Kotetsu closed his mouth for a moment, smirking against Barnaby's lips. "Then why don't you show me, Bunny?"

Smirking back, Barnaby grabbed Kotetsu by the chin, nipping the older man's lip roughly.  
>"Think you can get hard after being out in the rain, old man?"<p>

"Use that mouth of yours for somethin' besides talkin', and we'll find out."

A smile still plastered across his face, Barnaby licked his lips before releasing Kotetsu's jaw. Taking Kotetsu by the hand, Barnaby quickly guided the two of them to his bedroom.

Once in the room, Barnaby immediately began to undress. There was thrill and arousal brewing along every cell in his body. Any inkling of doubt he had was out the window, so far gone from his head that Barnaby wasn't sure he ever truly believed he wouldn't end up with Kotetsu again. As he tossed his jacket over a chair, he caught a glimpse of Kotetsu also disrobing.

"Stop."

"Huh?" Kotetsu was perplexed when Barnaby walked over to him.

Once standing in front of Kotetsu, Barnaby didn't speak as he peeled off Kotetsu's rain soaked shirt. The wetness caused the garment to hit the ground with a heavy plop, and Kotetsu cringed at the squelching sound. Barnaby, however, didn't seem to notice.

Wordlessly, Barnaby hit the ground in front of Kotetsu. On his knees, he started to unbuckle Kotetsu's belt.

Just as fast as it had arrived, his initial shock dissipated. Kotetsu encouragingly combed his fingers through Barnaby's thick hair, watching the young man carefully unzip his pants.

Unsurprisingly, Kotetsu wasn't hard beneath his boxers. Hindered slightly by the wet fabric, Barnaby eased Kotetsu's pants and boxers down to his ankles. Eyes focusing on the older man's dick, Barnaby leaned forward to breathe hot breaths against cold skin.

With the hand he had placed in Barnaby's hair, Kotetsu nudged the blonde forward, eager to begin the process.

"I thought old people were supposed to be patient," Barnaby cooed, taking Kotetsu's cock in his hand. He slid his hand down in a loose jerk as he grazed his lips over the head.

"M'sorry but," Kotetsu's voice didn't sound as jokey as usual. "Quit talkin'."

Despite wanting to be a tease, Barnaby obeyed, and took Kotetsu's steadily hardening member into his mouth.

Kotetsu's reaction was immediate. His breathing became more rapid, the hand that had been resting gently in Barnaby's hair twisted desperately, his legs quivered. Husky groans, centralizing deep in Kotetsu's throat took place of any words the older man was incapable of saying aloud. Fingers knitted in blonde strands of hair, Kotetsu tugged Barnaby's mouth along him.

"Your mouth's so warm," Kotetsu grumbled lowly, beginning to non-hurriedly thrust his hips. "And it's been forever."

With those words, Barnaby knew that Kotetsu was referring to the last time he'd had a blow job. There was a desire to make it good, make it better than anything Kotetsu had ever had before. To show the brunette that men are capable, if not more efficient, at getting the job done better than a woman; but there was also the selfish desires that Barnaby had of his own, desires that he was certain he wouldn't be able to supress.

Eager, and becoming painfully aroused himself, Barnaby hurried the process along. Taking in the entire length of Kotetsu's dick was difficult, but it was the swiftest way to an erection. Cautious not to swallow his own saliva, Barnaby dragged his mouth along Kotetsu's cock, spit dripping from his lips. When Kotetsu's hips were no longer thrusting, rather allowing Barnaby to slide his own mouth along him, Barnaby noticed that the tactics worked, and Kotetsu had gradually become hard. With satisfaction, he removed his lips from Kotetsu.

Getting to his feet, Barnaby pulled Kotetsu close to him, forcing his tongue and lips on him. Kotetsu responded with a moan into Barnaby's mouth, seemingly unnerved by the excessive saliva still present on the young man's lips.

Breaking their contact, Barnaby busied his hands on removing his pants: "Get on the bed."

"Hey, that's a cold attitude," Kotetsu leaned forward teasingly. "First freezing rain, now a frigid Bunny?"

"Get on the bed so I can fuck you," Barnaby said, stern and final. "I hate you, remember?"

"So, the blowjob's not the only thing that's gonna be wet, hot and sloppy?"

"Wet, hot, and hard," the younger man corrected, dropping his pants and pulling Kotetsu towards the bed. "Bend over," he demanded, placing his hand on Kotetsu's shoulder, forcing the brunette down to rest on the bed.

A bottle of lube stood on the nightstand next to Barnaby's bed, and he was thankful it was easy to access. Snatching it, and whipping the cap off in an instant, Barnaby set his cock against Kotetsu's ass. Pouring the lubricant over them both, paying no heed to the copious amounts that splattered on the floor, Barnaby took his moistened dick and began stroking.

"Bunny, can we not do it like this?"

Brow furrowed, Barnaby continued stroking himself as he inserted his index finger inside of the older man. "I don't think I'm capable of stopping at this point."

"No, no," Kotetsu's laugh was unusual in such a situation. "I meant… I wanna be on my back again."

"Why?" The blonde kept his fingers working inside of Kotetsu, perhaps more rushed than he should have been. But there was nothing besides anticipation in Barnaby's body, pumping with immense strength beneath his skin.

"I wanna see your face," Kotetsu murmured, embarrassed.

Scoffing, Barnaby shoved Kotetsu forward, causing him the fall onto the bed abruptly. Hastily, Barnaby was on the bed beside him, massaging his fingers back inside of Kotetsu.

Relishing in the sensations with his eyes closed, Kotetsu held his mouth partially open, his breathing became more like panting, and Barnaby decided that this was as much as he could tolerate. "Are you ready?"

Pushing Kotetsu onto his back, Barnaby leaned down to place a soft kiss to the other man's lips.  
>Kotetsu squirmed with the feeling of Barnaby's fingers inside of him, never protesting, but the look of discomfort was plain on his face.<p>

"Is it bad?" Barnaby asked, his voice low and soothing as he slowly retracted his fingers.

A small chuckle, strained but genuine, erupted from Kotetsu. "It's not…" He raised his hand, aiming for Barnaby's face, but landing open palmed on the blonde's neck. He stroked his thumb along Barnaby's jawline. "It's not like I haven't done this before, y'know." The older man grinned, winking.

Leaning down once again, Barnaby wiped the smile from Kotetsu's face by imposing an aggressive kiss. As he pulled away, he nipped at Kotetsu's lip: "Don't smirk like that, old man."

Kotetsu gave Barnaby a confused look.

"It makes me want to do filthy things to you." Barnaby reached down, adjusting himself to be at the entrance of Kotetsu's ass. Taking his hand under the back of Kotetsu's knee, Barnaby spread his legs.

Eyes pinched shut, Kotetsu held his breath.

The amount of lube aided in creating a less painful experience, as evident when Kotetsu didn't cringe as Barnaby eased himself inside.

"If I'm hurting you, say something," Barnaby spoke in an almost whisper, kissing Kotetsu's lips as he began to move.

For the first few motions, Barnaby was lethargic, ensuring the tightness wouldn't be too much for Kotetsu to handle. Once he was satisfied with the sensations being tolerable, Barnaby began to move with more intensity. But before long, despite wanting to pace himself, and make this experience less rushed than their last time together, Barnaby couldn't slow his hips and was thrusting feverishly. Their bodies felt right together, and Barnaby needed to be close to Kotetsu, every part of him.

An audible whimper, loud enough to be heard over his own heavy breathing and the sounds of their bodies smacking together, didn't slow Barnaby down.

"Rough…" Kotetsu finally said, teeth grit, eyes slitted open and set on Barnaby.

"Too hard?" Barnaby asked, but kept his rhythm, not easing as he inquired.

"Y-yeah," the older man's voice was muffled by the hand he placed over his own mouth. "Keep goin'."

_I wouldn't have stopped anyway__._Internally Barnaby responded, but didn't speak. With an idea in mind, Barnaby clenched his fingernails into Kotetsu's skin, slightly tilting the older man's body to a new angle. It took only a few more seconds before a sudden and explosive reaction began.

With a sudden shout of pleasure, Kotetsu's body went stiff, his head thrown against the pillow and his back arched, his scarred body trembled. Precise in his motions, Barnaby brought his hand around the back of Kotetsu's head, clutching a clump of Kotetsu's hair. Hungrily, Barnaby slammed their lips together as he hastened his thrusting into Kotetsu. Pounding himself into Kotetsu, he thirstily sucked the older man's tongue, until Kotetsu pulled away from their kiss.

Barnaby quickly occupied his mouth, biting Kotetsu's neck.

"Damn it," Kotetsu breathed, voice strained. "I-I'm gonna die." The older man's body twisted in the bed against Barnaby.

"Yeah?" Barnaby removed his lips from the brunette's neck, but didn't ease his thrusts.

"Yeah," Kotetsu whined, clenching his fingers in the sheets on the bed.

The sound of their bodies was weighted and tired, both men were sweating. Slickly, their skin stuck together for moments when Barnaby had himself entirely inside of Kotetsu, always holding himself there, trying to reinforce the experience within the older man. Their skin slapped together, wet with lube, sweat, and come, the sound was invigorating to Barnaby. Exaggerated and resonating in his mind, like some sort of cheap porno, but he had Kotetsu beneath him, groaning with pleasure, wanting all of him.

"Kotetsu," Barnaby tightened his hands on Kotetsu's thighs, knowing his grasp was too tight. "I love you."

Eyes flooded with tears, face flushed with bright red exhaustion, Kotetsu spoke: "Barnaby."

Despite his best efforts of restraint, Barnaby came. Kotetsu's voice uttering his name with raw pleasure was more than enough to push Barnaby over the edge.

Although exhausted, and having just came, Barnaby maintained his thrusting in and out. He knew he would be hard again, after all this was truly what he had always desired their sex to be like. Everything had went exactly according to Barnaby's whims, and he found himself lamenting over the fact this was their second time together. Those feelings of regret were easily squashed when Barnaby realized how many more opportunities he would have to make up for the first time.

Looking down to Kotetsu's chest, come was splattered against the muscles there, painting Kotetsu's cinnamon coloured skin with milky white droplets. Traveling up the older man's body with his eyes, Barnaby drank in the sight before him.

"You're mine," Barnaby asserted, his hips weren't moving with the same vigor, due to his fatigue. "T-tell me that."

Kotetsu's hand was on his own dick, stroking himself.

"Bunny, more," the words dragged out of Kotetsu lungs breathlessly.

Abruptly, Barnaby pulled out of Kotetsu, striking his arm under Kotetsu's back to pull the brunette into a sitting position. Wrapping Kotetsu's legs around him, Barnaby lifted the older man's body before lowering him back down onto his cock.

"Kotetsu," Barnaby grunted, holding the tops of Kotetsu's thighs down, thrusting up into him. "Stay with me."

Kotetsu was loud, not bothering to mask his delighted cries. His body bobbed up and down on Barnaby's dick, guiding the younger man's length to hit his prostate. "Bunny, I'm gonna come."

"Do it." Taking the older man's erection in his hand, Barnaby vigorously pumped. "Come."

Kotetsu let out a sputtering cough when he came, and that wouldn't have been satisfying under normal circumstances, Barnaby thought idly, but at the moment there was nothing more he needed. With the other man's body limp from being spent resting on him, Barnaby pulled his cock out of Kotetsu. Keeping his eyes glued to Kotetsu, watching the beads of sweat trickle from the other man's hairline, down his cheek and hang on his chin. Barnaby stroked himself until he came.

Admittedly, it wasn't as good as releasing inside of Kotetsu, but that hardly bothered Barnaby at this point. Not with the perfection of a human that was before him. Maybe it was only the afterglow of sex, but perhaps Kotetsu really was perfect, maybe not to everyone else, but he was the ideal match Barnaby hadn't realized he had wanted, or needed.

Barnaby leaned forward, nudging Kotetsu's face towards his, stealing a delicate kiss from his exhausted lover. Setting his hand on Kotetsu's scarred shoulder, the blonde lightly pushed him back, forcing Kotetsu to fall back onto the ruffled sheets. Careful to not impose all of his weight, Barnaby bent forward to rest on top of Kotetsu. He stared at the rising and falling of the other man's chest.

As they caught their breath, Kotetsu snickered.

"Y'know," he began, the forearm of his left hand was resting over his eyes so he couldn't see the other man. "You weren't hard to convince at all."

Scrunching his face in confusion, Barnaby responded: "What did you convince me of?"

Sliding his arm from his face, Kotetsu smiled wickedly. He moved his finger to Barnaby's forehead, where sweat soaked bangs rested in disarray, and flicked him. "That I'm worth givin' a shot."

Feigning annoyance, the younger man swatted Kotetsu's hand away. "You weren't convincing, this is me _pitying _you."

Incredulous look on his face, Kotetsu laughed: "Well, thanks for the pity, Barnaby."

There was immediate excitement when Kotetsu used his name, excitement Barnaby had trouble containing. "And you're not shivering anymore either."

Playfully, Kotetsu walked his fingers down his own chest, until they reached Barnaby. He tapped his fingers against the younger man's face as he spoke: "So, do I owe you a heating bill or something?"

"Someone making your kind of money couldn't afford it," Barnaby taunted. Sitting up, he crawled closer to Kotetsu until he could rest in the crook of the older man's arm.

"Yeah, yeah, I guess I'll have to pay you back some other way, huh?" Kotetsu took the blonde man gently by the chin.

They kissed softly, considerably more delicate than the way they had been only minutes before.

It was heavenly, or rather, what Barnaby imagined heaven would feel like. Sharing their heat, with their bodies fitted together so closely, lips on lips, it was nothing short of a miracle.

It wasn't long after that when Barnaby heard Kotetsu's breathing alter. It became more relaxed, heavier, more breathy, three major signs that the older man had fallen asleep. Barnaby was tired, exhausted really; but thoughts danced in his mind. Idle thoughts like how many times could he expect Kotetsu to show up at his door late at night? How many more clumps of rabbit track leaves would wind up in his apartment?

There was no denying there would be trouble between the two of them, that was inevitable. Maybe they wouldn't stay together forever, or maybe they wouldn't even become a couple at all. However, the way Barnaby saw it, if he could live his life parallel to Kotetsu, there was no doubt he could find happiness.

Kotetsu grumbled then, in his sleep, tilting his head downward. Stirring, Barnaby raised his eyes to the other man's face, admiring the curves and lines that were set into Kotetsu's skin. Delicately, Barnaby raised his hand to stroke his fingers along the scratchy surface of Kotetsu's cheek, letting his fingers linger on the patch of facial hair.

In that moment, and for any moment Barnaby could possibly ever conceive, he never wanted a day to pass when he wouldn't see Kotetsu.

* * *

><p>AN: so i guess thats done.. time to start a new one I think~ sorry for all the errors and spelling and blah in this story guys. If you like I appreciate it, if not, well dang what do you want from me. thanks for reading and reviewing you guys are champions!<p> 


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